


Neo Culture Kingdom

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Betrayal, Cheating, Extramarital Affairs, Love Triangles, M/M, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-10-12 20:41:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20570555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “As of today, I am no longer your king. I am your husband.”My name is Dong Sicheng and I fell in love with two men, the one I married and the one whose life he uprooted. This is my story.





	1. I'm the Biggest Romantic in This Kingdom

Taeyong had been newly crowned king of Neo Empire, the youngest in perhaps a century. The kingdom had been in great distress during the last reign with famine, wars, and a corrupt king that would punish anyone who couldn’t afford to pay his skyrocketing tax rates. 

A small group of rebels that called themselves the Neo Culture Revolutionists had sparked a revolution. They’d revolted against the king, slaughtered any blood family of his, and changed the entire course of the kingdom. A new council of government had been elected in place with a group of elites only known as the SM, who were the closest advisors to their newly crowned king. 

Lee Taeyong from the noble Lee family that had produced generations of warriors and generals alike, was of age, well-versed in politics and economics, and had proven himself to be a fierce and loyal guerilla fighter. The council had voted unanimously to elect him as their king. Of course they’d have to form alliances, preferably sooner than later. 

I, Dong Sicheng, was the only single Earl in a far-away kingdom, known as the Kingdom of Wenzhou, a port city with a harbor, a large army, and powerful reputation. My father the Archduke had fought tooth and nail with our king, his friend and brother who had no children to carry on his lineage, to arrange a marriage between King Lee Taeyong and I. A new kingdom, a new king, and a chance to form a new alliance, my father said, that would benefit both of our kingdoms. 

Since he had no children himself, my uncle agreed and arranged a diplomatic meeting. It wasn’t often that a man married another man in our lands, but as long as the blood is noble, the gender is considered much less of an issue. 

I still feel mortified when I’d first met King Taeyong. Even though I was a couple inches taller, I tripped over my own feet and almost fell over. His big hands had caught me by the arm, and I swear I’ve never been redder in my entire life. 

Then Father said, “Your Majesty, my son has been perfecting the art of his dance ever since a young age. Please consider allowing him to perform for you.” 

All eyes had fallen onto me then, and mortified as I was, I maintained what little dignity I had to be handed a couple of fans by one of the servants and get onto my feet. 

Fans were one of my favorite accessories for accompanying me in my dance. I do my best, trying not to stumble over my own two feet. _ I am a cloud, _ I thought.  _ A fairy of dance, seducer of men. I am but a whisper on my feet, lightly carried away by the breeze. _ This is such the way of fan pirouette. 

I finished on a leap, my legs splaying out into a split as straight as an arrow, my fans unfolded into the air. 

The entire room had burst into applause. I bowed bashfully, my legs a little wobbly from how determined I had been. The smile that had ended on my future betrothed’s face was well worth it. 

My father gestured me over to introduce me to the king. “This is my son, Your Majesty, Dong Sicheng. Son, this is His Royal Majesty Lee Taeyong, king of the newly established Neo Kingdom.”

King Taeyong’s eyes became glittering onyx as he smiled directly at me. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Dong Sicheng.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, Your Majesty.” I bowed, and he nodded at me. I remembered trying so hard for my face to remain impassive at that moment, trying not to let him see how much I was blushing because of his handsome face. 

It wasn’t just his face. It was his inky black hair, shiny and styled, with a golden crown perched atop of it. It was his milky skin, the way his bangs framed his large sparkling eyes, his deep, husky voice that could captivate an entire empire. It was his black robes and the way they made him look mysterious, it was the smile on his handsome face that made him look kind in juxtaposition to an otherwise intimidating air of power.

“We formally accept the conditions of this alliance and marriage, Your Highnesses. We will begin preparations for the wedding,” a representative from the council of SM said. 

Father beamed. “Very well! That is wonderful to hear. I am beyond pleased to have you as my future son-in-law.”

“And I am honored, Your Lordship.” King Taeyong directed his smile at my father as they warmly shook hands. 

“Our kingdoms shall be eternally aligned, then,” my uncle added. “Welcome to the family!” 

As King Taeyong thanked my uncle, Father added, “I am sorry that this is all we have provided for a dowry as of today.” He gestures towards the small group of servants that had streamed in with chests of silver goblets and jewels. “We will be sure to present the rest at the wedding.” 

“There is no need, Your Lordship,” King Taeyong had said, and then smiled almost bashfully at me. “I have all that I could ask for.” 

I flushed brightly.

* * *

The kingdom had been buzzing with preparations for our wedding. More chests were prepared, this time overflowing with gold coins, silver bars, all sorts of trinkets and goblets, and the most precious stones in our land. Servants had been scurrying our and about all week, milking grapes and figs to make wine, goats and sheep for their milk. 

We were to have a feast at the wedding. Whole pigs rotating on spits, chickens roasting over garlic, smoked venison braised in a sizzling orange sauce. Castles and ships sculpted from fruit, roast peacocks with their feathers still in, wine floating with cherry blossoms, rolls of colorful sushi, cold brown noodles drizzled with truffles and black caviar, rare jasmine rice cooked with saffron, warm and bubbling rabbit stew with pearly white caviar, lobster tails stuffed with many delicacies, and layer upon layer of fluffy, decadent cake smothered in buttercream sugar. Not to mention the mountains of chocolate puddings, matcha milk bread, berry tarts, buns stuffed with red beans, and every flavor of pie one could think of. 

As for me, servants got to work making me look pretty enough to be the king’s bride. They slathered my blonde hair with creams and gels until it looked as golden as our wheat fields under the summer sun. They gave me facials until my skin sparkled raw and pink and used some light eyeliner to bring out the honey in my warm brown eyes.

_ I could get used to this _ , I thought as maids brought me wine and grapes and massaged my feet as I sat in a bathtub full of petals. It wasn’t that I wasn’t used to being waited on, it was just that having been the youngest of the Archduke’s children, nobody had waited on me hand and foot at my every beckon. 

Now, things would be completely different. 

I took a deep breath as I slid further into the water, the warmth of its touch soothing my naked body. I thought about what would happen on my wedding night, and my cheeks darkened to a ripe cherry crimson. I’d never been with anybody in that way before as I’d wanted to save myself for that one special person. I was ecstatic that it was going to be King Taeyong, but I was also feeling self-conscious.

I had a rather slim body with milky skin and a pink tint, and though I was taller than average, I didn’t think I was the most endowed down there. I could be gangly and awkward and clumsy at times. Still, I just wanted the king to like me. I just wanted to be happy. 

King Taeyong did invite me to take a walk with him in his private gardens a couple days before the wedding. So I’d left my kingdom a little earlier and met him by the most beautiful place I’d ever seen, dangling with millions of cherry blossoms and fruits as fat and bright as jewels. “This is my place of serenity,” he told me as we walked down a clean cut path, “This is where I go to find my inner peace, when I need to take a little break from my duties. You are most certainly welcome here anytime.”

I’d blushed. He would then go on to ask me questions about myself, such as my interests, favorite kinds of food, and general likes and dislikes. He also asked me about my passion, my dreams.

I had to pause for a minute because nobody had really asked me before. “I’m not entirely sure,” I said, “I guess I’ve always wanted to travel and see faraway places. What about you, Your Majesty?” 

“I’ve always wanted to find true love.” He replies in a soft voice, looking straight into my eyes. Curse me because I had to look away, otherwise I would have fainted right there on the spot. 

“Is that so?” I croaked.

He nodded. “Sometimes it can come true when you were least expecting it. I have also wanted to sponsor a dog shelter.”

“A dog shelter?” I wanted to divert attention away from my bright red face. 

“Yes. I am a lover of dogs, truly man’s best friend. However, I have never had the time to spare for such a thing.” 

“Dogs are cute. I love dogs too,” I croaked, and he tossed back his head and laughed the most beautiful laughter I’d ever heard. 

And it was at that moment that I realized he had not just a handsome face but a beautiful soul as well. How smitten I had become in such a short while!

* * *

I became a little less awkward around the King when I spent little more snippets of time with him. He was always well-mannered, speaking quietly in his husky tone and sometimes so fluently that I have trouble understanding his regional dialect. Other times he and I wouldn’t say anything at all, enjoying a rather comfortable silence that I wasn’t used to. 

He had a lot of love for animals and the little critters of the forest. He got up really early in the morning sometimes to feed the chickens himself in the royal barnyard or to collect eggs or to just pet the cows good morning. He scattered nuts, seeds, and grain for the little wild birds that always seem to come to him. Even the usually shy deer seem to be attracted to him(not that I could really blame them), coming close enough to sniff his hand or for him to present them with a carrot or two. 

* * *

I wasn’t to see him on the morning of the wedding. I was to avoid him at all costs because tradition has it that the groom and bride are not allowed to see each other before their wedding. I decided not to take chances on our future together and just let the servants continue to bring me wine and massage my feet. I had my hair creamed and geled, and my whole body was rubbed down with a lotion that smelled like softness itself. What little amount of body hair existed was brazenly shaven off. Then I was put into the fanciest, silkiest set of white robes I’ve ever worn and given a wreath of flowers and a veil to hide my face. A perfect bride: mysterious and disciplined, that was how I was to be. 

“You have such full and supple lips,” my makeup artist sighed as she applied a pink lip cream on me, “Porcelain skin and flawless eyes too. His Royal Majesty is a lucky man!”

If King Taeyong turned out to be as kind hearted as he seemed, perhaps then I would be the lucky one. The youngest member of a family usually has their marriages arranged, and mine just happens to be to a man that was both devilishly handsome and golden-hearted. 

* * *

King Taeyong was usually surrounded by a plethora of important men by his side, but there was none other than frequented than a man by the name of Yuta Nakamoto. He played the role of royal advisor, always remaining by the king’s side to whisper into his ear. He held some multifaceted expressions, but he would often smile whenever his eyes met mine. He was handsome in ways different than the king. While His Majesty was solemn and serious with a deep voice and some reservations, Yuta was all grins and laughter. He had caramel brown hair that fluffed like cotton candy and twinkling hazel eyes that sparkled whenever he was speaking. He was a little taller than the king and had this angelic boyishness to him in parallel to the king’s devilishly handsomeness. 

Sometimes I feel guilty for comparing the two because it is King Taeyong that is to be my husband, not Yuta. But it is Yuta that comforts me when I am feeling afraid or alone. 

“What if His Majesty decides he doesn’t like me?” I said as Yuta was helping me dress. 

“That’s impossible, Sichengie. Who wouldn’t like you?” Yuta’s voice was soft and cooing. “You’re so adorable and cute, just like a baby.”

“Not everyone is fond of babies,” I deadpanned, disappointed that Yuta’s words didn’t really make me feel better.

Yuta laughed as he pins something into my hair. “True. But I don’t doubt you could charm anyone Sichengie, His Majesty alike...” His touch was soft as he stroked my arm, sending a shiver up my spine where I didn’t know I could feel them.

“T-thank you, Yuta,” I flushed, “Um, how long have you been working for His Majesty?”

I felt Yuta stiffen for a moment before he answered, rather slowly. “Well, I was out of town doing diplomatic work during the uprising, but after the rebellion was over, I had a lot of free time on my hands. I couldn’t return home though. So I met Taeyong by chance and he asked me to be his advisor once he became king.”

“So you and him have history?” I asked.

There was something off about Yuta’s smile. “You could say that. Now open your mouth Sichengie, so I can spray whitening cream onto your teeth!” 

“Don’t call me Sichengie,” I gargled afterwards with a glare, much to Yuta’s amusement. 

* * *

The rest of the wedding day goes by without a hitch and in a blur. After I’m made up, I almost didn’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror. Soft glowing eyeshadow that brought out the warmth in my eyes complemented by silver highlighter, rosy lips and cheeks, hair coiffed into many magical waves of shiny blonde tresses. They’d even shaven hair from places where I didn’t know that I had hair. But I had ever felt so beautiful, so radiant, so alive before. 

And that was before the wine toasting and the popping of champagne, before the oohing and ahhing at me as I walked down the aisle accompanied by a background of servants, maids, and soldiers, before when my uncle winked at me, before Father waved at me, before Mother tried to wave and ended up sobbing out of pure joy into Father’s arms, before my brothers and sisters started applauding, before the orchestra music started playing the wedding march, before Yuta caught my eye and grinned at me, before my wedding ring, an expensive sliver of diamonds, was slipped onto my fingers, and before I was delivered into the arms of my new husband, King Lee Taeyong. 

I could feel his gaze on me as the priest began his speech, powerful, emotional,  _ something absolutely raw _ . Could it have been adoration, bewilderment, maybe even  _ love _ ? 

We said our vows, then we kissed. I was married now. To the king!

_ Be wise in your choices, Sicheng. Only a fool would love a man he barely knows _ , Father had said when I’d first told him that I liked men (Uncle had slapped me on the back, cackling with glee). Ironically, they’d been the ones to arrange my marriage.

I partied along with the rest of the guests late into the night. I didn’t perform any inappropriate dances or get too close to anyone; rather, it was a classy affair made up of small talk and never-ending seafood appetizers. I didn’t see much of my new husband during the party, and although I felt a little lump of disappointment in my throat, I quickly swallowed it upon all the congratulations I was receiving. I’d never had that kind of attention on me before, aside from Yuta who kept on sipping champagne and sparing glances at me. I would look back and then he’d look away again. 

Then time passed and I still hadn’t seen Taeyong and I was getting worried and there were suddenly too many people and I’d been there for too long but I still had to smile, still had to greet everyone, still had to accept thanks and congratulations. 

When all was said and done and the champagne flutes empty, I was led upstairs to my new quarters that would be shared with His Majesty. The warm liquid fire of alcohol bubbling in my stomach gave me the courage to ascend the royal staircase, pink and wobbly and almost breathless flight after flight until I reach the fourth floor. 

I was led through a hallway strung with magnificent paintings into an even more magnificent chamber, all marble flooring and chandelier ceiling and paintings that seem to stretch on forever. Here the servants left me in front of a pair of giant oak doors.

I knocked.

“Come in,” a soft voice said from the inside. Taeyong was inside, reading from a thick book in an armchair by the fire. He’d looked up and smiled at me. 

I don’t know if it was the nerves or the champagne or the fact that I didn’t see him at the afterparty really at all and was stuck answering to all the guests some of them I didn’t even know, but I sauntered up to him with my hips swaying from side to side. 

“Hello,” he said.

“Why didn’t I see you at the party?” Drunk me pouted at him. “I was looking for you forever, but I couldn’t find you.”

Taeyong sighed and closed his book. “I’m sorry, Sicheng. I wanted some quiet time after the wedding. You see, I’m actually quite shy and being around a crowd too long stirs up my nerves. Perhaps I should have told you…”

“Bullshit.” 

“...excuse me?”

Had I not been drunk, I would have never spoken in this manner towards the king. But I could feel the liquid fire coursing through my veins, giving me courage as I staggered towards him.

“That’s bullshit,” I said again, sauntering right up to him and throwing myself across his lap as if I were about to give him a lap dance. 

His mouth dropped open. “Sicheng…”

“You were embarrassed by me?” I asked, grinding my hips a little against his. He swallowed hard, and the liquid fire came back into my veins full force. “Didn’t want to be seen with me? You don’t want to be with me?”

“That’s not true,” he said, his voice raspy, “I want to be with you. I want to be with you  _ so much  _ that I was losing my mind over not being able to have you before our wedding. I thought that if I distanced myself, I could put enough space between you and I to where you wouldn’t feel pressured to do anything.”

I stare at him for a couple of moments before replying, “I never wanted there to be distance between us, my king.” 

* * *

Taeyong’s thumb is big and warm as it grazes my lips, drawing a quiet gasp from my throat. “Your Majesty…” 

“Sh.” Taeyong means in closer until our noses are touching, and I have to gulp because I’ve never had the king so close to me before, his warm breath in my face, his glittering black eyes looking directly into my honey-brown ones. “As of today, I am no longer your king. I am your husband.” 

I gulp. A glimmer of moonlight catapults onto his hair, making it shine a majestic blue-black color. With chiseled features, a straight nose, and large onyx eyes, he truly was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.

“You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen,” I murmur. 

Taeyong’s voice is as thick as honey as he responds in turn, “And are you not the most beautiful man to ever exist?”

Even drunk me flushed pink. “Not as beautiful as you, Your Majesty.” I don’t understand how he could think that. I’m considered merely pretty but nothing extraordinary. My blond hair and honey brown eyes are plain compared to his striking features. 

He moves closer. “Let me show you how beautiful you are, Sicheng.” He brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear, and his breath is so warm and so non alcoholic it’s making me tingle with sheer anticipation. “Will you―will you let me make love to you?” 

What could I do but nod. I was breathless and my stomach rollercoasters over and over again with an agonizing yearn for his attention, his adoration, his love. 

The next thing I know Taeyong’s lips come crashing down on mine and I’m being flung off his lap and thrown into the gigantic bed and I’m sinking into the covers and it’s alright because Taeyong is climbing on top of me and he’s tearing my robes from underneath me like a feral animal but at the same time not because he’s the king and he’s majestic and amazing and still incredibly graceful. 

My body is pale and skinny and I almost want to hide it in shame. But Taeyong is staring as if he’s mesmerized, and the more he stares, the more I feel like opening myself up to him. I arch my body a bit so it seems as if I’m reaching up with my body to touch him closer to me, head slung back, eyes wide open, parting my dry red lips, and spreading my naked legs for him.

I hear my husband’s breath hitch and at that moment I know that he is just as much of a goner as I. He kisses me even more passionately than the first time, thrusting his tongue inside my mouth and rolling it around until he explores every corner.

There is no shortage of passion as Taeyong’s hands, large and rough for a man of his stature, explore every last inch of my body. Our gasps and moans arise as we tangle our bodies within the sheets, trying to become one with each other. His lips have melded into mine, and I’ve never tasted anything so delicious, so incredible. 

I throw back my head with a moan as one of his giant hands reaches down and grabs me at my weakest spot. He moves his hand in slow, gentle movements that has me bucking my hips for more. 

“From-” he kisses me in between sentences.

“-tonight-onwards-you-are-mine-you-belong-in-Neo-Culture-Kingdom-now.”

“I am yours, my husband,” I reply in numb bliss. 

He again catches me by surprise as he engulfs my cock in the back of his throat, onyx puppy eyes staring up at me, trying to drain me of every last drop. My mouth drops open in pure unadulterated bliss as the heat and warmth and wetness of his mouth launches me into the heavens.

I don’t try and hold back my moans anymore and I don’t try to hide parts of myself from him because I think that he wants to see them. His eyes bore over every inch of me, scanning me until there was nothing left, until I had given everything to him and him alone. It’s all too much the warmth of his mouth his hands kneading my body and I’m seeing white as I spill into his mouth, feeling blissful and horrified at the same time that I had come undone in the King’s mouth. 

I am about to apologize when Taeyong lifts his head up and grins at me, opening his mouth to let me see how white I painted his throat before he swallows everything in one big gulp. I’m mortified, ecstatic, blissful, and overcome with raw emotion at the same time. I launch myself towards Taeyong’s lips, kissing his beautifully sculpted body and throwing my completely naked body at his half-clothed robe and clawing at his expensive royal robes in an attempt to get them to come off.

I successfully pull them off, gasping when I see his cock stand proud and erect and waiting for me, dripping with precum and anticipation. It is much more sizeable than my own and by that I mean while mine probably fit in his throat with no issues, his swollen pink dick is plump and fills up my entire mouth, then my throat. But I see how his lashes flutter as he moans, letting his head fall back and his black hair fanning out a bit around his head on the pillows and the moonlight lights up his skin so it’s nearly pearlescent, glowing. So I suck him, and I mean  _ suck _ him like a baby farm animal hungry for milk, hoping that my passion would make up for my lack of experience. 

He rips me off him without warning and pins me down with my back against the bed, him atop of me breathing heavily and looking lustfully down at me. “Suck,” he whispers through heavy breathing, holding out two fingers to my lips.

After I coat his digits in my saliva, he slips them inside me. It is no easy fit for his fingers, I grit my teeth at the burning invasive sensation that felt so weird and so wrong and so right at the same time.

Then his fingers pull away to make room for something bigger and I let out a little shriek as his swollen cock enters me, filling me to the brim and going balls deep with the first thrust. 

“Did I hurt you?” My husband asks me, a look of concern on his handsome face. 

I shake my head as he pulsates within me and I feel like I can explode from pleasure at any possible moment. “No. P-please keep going.” 

Taeyong’s expression darkens, And that is all he needs to lose himself inside him, pounding away until I was on the verge of losing my very last breath. He is much bigger than I had anticipated anybody could ever be, and his girth is so thick it leaves none of my throbbing pink insides untouched. His hands dig into my shoulders as his hips jackhammer into mine, our moans mixed with the sensual sounds of skin slapping skin and the wet squelching of his cock in and out of my hole. Then he thrusts it right there, and I come undone for the second time as I feel him mercilessly slam into me to reach his own release. I’m seeing white, then stars, then feeling Taeyong’s warmth as he grunts his own release deep inside me. I whimper, never having felt so warm and fulfilled and loved before. 

Our kiss is slow and sweet, unlike the previous kisses, lazy and lingering, and yet with a burning passion instead of absolute consumption. We are both trying to catch our breaths, our naked bodies melding together and slick with sweat. I feel one sinewy arm wrap around me. 

“Tell me, did I hurt you?” Taeyong whispers, and it’s the first time I’ve heard him sound nervous. His breath is hot and I blush, for he looks even more handsome up close. 

“No,” I reply. “It was perfect. I never knew that lovemaking would-would feel so good.”

Taeyong laughs, and at that moment I think that I could fall in love with him before tomorrow morning. 

“It’s even more beautiful when you are with someone you care about.” He takes my hand.

I’m in heavenly bliss until a sudden unwelcome thought pops into my head. “Have you...have you done this before?” I ask in a small voice, wondering why my heart was thudding so rapidly all of a sudden. 

To my utter dismay, Taeyong sighs and looks away. “Once a long time ago. I was young and foolish, and unfortunately the stress of training was wearing me down. The other guy didn’t have much experience either, so we decided to be each other’s first.”

“Oh,” I say, feeling my gut sinking, “So I wasn’t your first. But you were mine.” My chest is aching, and I feel small and stupid and used.

Taeyong pulls me into a hug, wrapping his muscular arms around me. “Sicheng, please don’t think about it like that. That was in my past and to be frank, it didn’t mean anything to me except childish curiosity. I’ve never had feelings for anyone but you.” 

I stop my pouting for a second. “You have feelings for me?” 

He regards me with the most tender, loving expression I had ever seen. “How could I not? You are stubborn, fiercely independent, a tidal force that cannot be calmed. I thought you were beautiful even when we were first entering into this as a political arrangement. Never did I imagine that I would have become so… I did not imagine that I could ever have an arranged marriage where happiness is present. I am smitten with you, Dong Sicheng.”

“That’s...kind of cheesy, Your Majesty.”

His laugh is rich and throaty. “That’s husband to you,” he murmurs, kissing my neck, “You can call me Taeyong when we are alone, for I am completely yours. What has happened in the past does not matter because you are my present and my future.” 

Our tongues touch in an open-mouthed kiss, his silver tongue already making me go weak in the knees. Added to my aching rear and spasming legs, I am going to be a rather sore sight tomorrow. 

“This has been the best night of my life,” I murmur to Taeyong, who smiles and kisses my forehead. 

“I will have them bring you ice cream and cake in the morning. Goodnight, my sweetness.”

“Goodnight,” I mumble as it is sealed with a kiss. 

* * *

When I open my eyes the next morning, my husband is not there. Instead, Yuta’s beaming face comes in carrying a tray laden with all sorts of delicacies including creamy concoctions and towers of fruit and sugar. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” He sets down the tray and ruffles my hair. “It’s time to wake up! Yuta-hyung has brought you your breakfast in bed!”

I moan, all of that wine I drank last night surging to attack my head at once. I close my eyes after I see Yuta and roll over, hoping to catch a wink’s more sleep.

“Sichengie!!” Yuta whines, dashing over to the other side of the bed where I was. He tries pulling the blanket from me and it works. I let out a groan as I feel his hands lightly shake my shoulders.

“Sichengie, I brought you breakfast in bed! Please enjoy it!”

“I’m not hungry.” I deadpan. “Where is the king?” 

“Running his morning court. He tends to have busy days, but you can spend the day with me! How’s that, Sichengie?”

“Get rid of the nickname,” I grumble as I reach for any dish on that incredible looking tray. “What have we got here?”

Yuta beams. “Strawberry parfaits with cream and cherries, vanilla custard with berry tarts, and a whole slew of ice cream and cake and bread. Dig in, cutie!”

I dig into the ice cream and parfaits, letting that nickname go for once. It isn’t until after I’ve been stuffing my face for awhile that I see Yuta still smiling at me, politely waiting to make conversation.

I swallow. “So how long until the King will be coming back?” 

“Not until nightfall, I’m afraid.” Yuta makes a sympathetic face at my dejected one. “Don’t worry, cutie! His Majesty will return to you every nightfall and you will be able to dine together on some evenings. On the Holy days off, His Majesty will be able to spend his entire days with you.”

“Why do you have to call me that?” I mutter through a mouthful of heavenly cream.

“Call you what, cutie?”

“ _ That _ .” My ears are pink. “It’s a little intimate, don’t you think?”

“Well you are my closest friend in the entire kingdom, wouldn’t you say?”

“I guess, but Yuta, how will Taeyong feel if he hears you calling me cute?”

“He’d agree with me, cutie. After all, I am his royal advisor.”

* * *

The king eventually did come to have dinner with me later that night and about every other night. He was apologetic that he had to be a king first and husband second, but I tell him that I understand he has a need to take care of his people.

He makes sweet love to me every night he can, and I feel the heat of him in my belly as I milk him to his climax. There are those nights where I ride him slow and sweet and other nights when I clamp down so hard on his cock he’s seeing stars and calling my name over and over again. Of course there are also those nights where he’s clutching down on my cock, coaxing me into my orgasm or asking me to release it so he can feel me deep inside. Then again there are the mornings where he wakes up beside me and we share an intimate cuddle as we talk about ourselves, food, the world, anything and everything. 

Oh my brothers and sisters, if only you could see how your youngest brother Dong Sicheng has grown up now! 

* * *

He is a kind, benevolent king who grants an audience with his people from time to time and resolves to help them solve their problems, from hunger to crop loss to purchasing new land and farm animals. He is stricter when it comes to foreigners, such as diplomats or ambassadors, traveling merchants and dignitaries and all sorts of other important people from other kingdoms. He is professional and well-respected and well-mannered and liked by everyone that lives in the castle. Towards me he is affectionate, he is loving, towards me he is heavenly, more than anything I could have ever asked for. 

He always asks me if I am alright, to let him know if there is anything that I need. The servants are always bringing me cake, fruit, ice cream, wine, tea with jasmine rice, richly-scented coffee laced with cream and sugar. They put flower petals in my path and rub oils over my body and sprinkle perfume into my hair. They massage my feet and shoulders and scrub my back and shave every little hair that dares to grow back onto my body save for my head and eyebrows. They bring me gifts from the king himself: peacock feathers in expensive vases, sundials and beautiful glass globes and more jewelry that I can ever wear, shelves of leather-bound books, globes crafted out of solid gold, colorful pigments to line my eyes and lips and cheeks with, and wardrobe upon wardrobe of robes made of the finest, richest silk and satin dyed in all sorts of colors: pinks and greens and blacks and blues and reds and oranges and purples and creams. 

The best gift to me is waking up beside him among the throes of morning light where they speckle in his hair and make his scattering of freckles more prominent across his face. Everything about him is light and angelic to contrast with the rich ebony shades of his hair, thick eyebrows, and doe-like eyes. Then he will open his eyes and the first thing they will see is me. And then he will smile and whisper  _ good morning, baby _ and I’ll whisper  _ morning, my love _ back to him. The rest of the morning will be spent with us whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ear, with him telling me about how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me and me blushing until I feel as if I’ve drained all the blood from my body. Then we will talk politics, perhaps geography, maybe even a bit of history here and there. The rest of the day may be spent strolling through the gardens or looking for young wild animals out near the woods. As an archduke’s son, I’ve ridden horses before but not nearly as magnificent as the thoroughbreds housed in King Taeyong’s stables. The ringing of a silver bell prompts a group of butlers and maids to rush towards me, wine and grapes and teacakes prepared for me to enjoy on hand. 

And then those days where the king has to attend to royal business, so I am left alone to stroll the royal gardens or to walk through the stables. I get used to the nobles of the castle quite easily, with me growing fond of a couple of noble young stablehands, training so they would have “knight” in their titles as well.

“Hello, Jaemin, Renjun, Jeno, Jisung, Chenle!” 

It endears me to see the teenagers taking care of their horses or perfecting their fencing. Although I consider myself rather reserved as a person, I always give them a friendly wave and smile. My heart would flutter as the boys turn their gaze towards me, their faces breaking out into gigantic smiles and they erupt cries of “Prince Sicheng!” “Hello, Prince Sicheng-hyung!” “We’ve missed you!” “Did you bring us any goodies?!”

This usually earns Lucas a smack in the head from one of his friends, but I would chuckle as I dig through my robe pockets for little wrappers of candy or sweets to hand to them.

“So how’s training going?” I’d inquire as they happily stuff their faces. 

“Well, we’re not supposed to have sweets―OUCH! Jaemin, what was that for?!”

“You’re not supposed to tell! Shhhh!”

“Guys, it’s just me,” I’d chuckle, “Your secret is safe with me. I’m glad to see that training is going well.”

“We’ve been working really hard, Prince Sicheng-hyung!” Renjun says happily. 

“Your hard work definitely shows,” I reply. “You’re all growing up so fast. Dream team right here.”

“Except for Haechan!” Chenle pouts. 

“Haechan?” I ask.

“He’s sometimes with us, but he’s almost completed his training,” Jaemin answers with a giggle, “His real name is Donghyuk. Sometimes you can find him dancing with Mark Lee in the ballroom.” 

“Dancing?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Jisung pipes up rather shyly. “His Majesty King Taeyong has also mentioned before that you like to dance?”

I smile. “I do.”

“Can you show us?”

“Shut up, Lucas!”

“What? I was just-” 

“Um, Your Highness,” Jisung tugs on my robe while Lucas and the others bicker among themselves. 

“Yes?”

“It’s just―you’re very. Um. B-beautiful.” Jisung turns white, then pink. “And His Majesty King Taeyong is s-so handsome. I am so glad you became Prince of our kingdom... _ achoo _ !”

“Bless your heart, Jisung. That’s a very kind thing of you to say. I’m sure His Majesty would appreciate it too, if you ever want to tell him yourself.”

Taeyong adores children and youth, and sometimes I find myself wistfully aching that I could provide him with children. I imagine he would make an excellent father. 

Even though I sometimes wish he had more time to spend with me, I truly am happy here, I think to myself later that night. I was beginning to feel like I belonged somewhere for the first time. 

* * *

“The Prince is so lucky to be surrounded by not one but two handsome noblemen all day,” I would hear some of the chambermaids whispering among themselves, almost squealing as if they were fangirls, “He even married King Taeyong and became royalty! What I wouldn’t give to have a life like his.”

“But His Lordship Yuta Nakamoto is so handsome as well,” sighs another, “He has the most beautiful hazel eyes. And hair that looks just like caramel! And he always wears that one earring…”

“King Taeyong has pierced ears as well,” remarks a third, “He’s got such striking features and such a deep voice!”

“Speaking of deep voices, Prince Sicheng has a dreamy voice that I didn’t expect,” adds a fourth. “He asked me to bring him his cloak the other day, and I almost couldn’t believe it was him speaking to me! His hair is so fluffy and blond and he’s so tall and he’s got these warm honey eyes I could just  _ melt _ ...”

Although it tints my ears pink to hear the maids gushing about me (and the men I’m surrounded by), I’m also flattered. I’ve always been usually shy and a little awkward, just the guy standing by himself to the side. Princes and dukes hardly ever notice me unless my father introduced me. I can walk outside of the royal grounds unbothered because most people don’t know who I am. In terms of looks, I’ve always been thin, gangly, and a little too tall for my age, or as King Taeyong told me before, mostly legs and little torso (but I think he meant it as a compliment). I guess my blond hair and honey-brown eyes and full lips would be my best features, but blond and pink and blue and sandy hair is common where I am from. 

I’ve never thought myself to be outstanding before, but after hearing the maids gossip and the way the King spoke of me and even the way Yuta smiles at me, perhaps I am starting to gain a new sense of confidence in myself. My husband King Taeyong was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, there was no competition. 

But I am not bad either.

“127?” I ask my husband as we lay side by side in bed, the sweat glistening on our naked bodies and one of his sinewy arms wrapping around me. 

“Unit 127.” He nods. “It’s a union that I and our closest diplomats from other kingdoms came up with. Its name will be shortened to the NCT 127 unit, and our alliance will bring a new era of peace to our kingdoms. No more war, say for a thousand years.”

“Wow, a thousand years?”

“Yes, baby. A thousand years of peace for our people.”

“I can’t imagine anything in a thousand years,” I say. “Isn’t it human nature to be in war?”

“Yes and no. War...is a very destructive force, baby. It turns men into animals, into murderers.” For a second Taeyong’s dark eyes are far away, and his voice sounds so small. 

I reach for his hand to clasp in my own. Having never been in war myself, there was little sympathy I could offer him. But I could still try. 

“You’re not a murderer,” I whisper. “You’re Lee Taeyong, King of the Neo Culture Kingdom and now leader of NCT. You’re the driving force behind the last uprising, you’re a hero, you’re my husband―”

I don’t get to finish everything that I admire about him because his lips are on mine and kissing me to another plane of existence with the amount of love that are in them. 

* * *

Unit 127 was the best thing I’ve ever heard until it wasn’t. Taeyong would gradually spend more and more time at these meetings, planning, strategizing, mapmaking. Less and less time he had for me.

It got so bad that sometimes I would only get to see him once a week. I am able to meet some of the other members of Unit 127. Taeil, Mark, Haechan, and Jaehyun are some of the ones I remember because they are kind to me. Still I am hardly able to see Taeyong, and my days grow longer and longer.

Thankfully, Yuta seems to recognize this and he begins to keep me company. Yuta is around when Taeyong is not, and I often enjoy Yuta’s company because there is no one else quite like Yuta. I don’t even think that Taeyong throws his arms around me as much or holds my hands or strokes my fingers as much as Yuta does. But Yuta is Taeyong’s advisor and Yuta is easy to talk to. He is always there, even when my husband isn’t. 

Then I grow braver. If I want to venture outside of the castle, all I have to do is ask and give Yuta a pleading look with my eyes, and he practically throws his hands up in the air and says “Anything for you!” Then he arranges the plain carriages and long cloaks to cover our faces. 

The streets are often paved with dirt and grime and the air is full of many smells from the sewers to the aqueducts to the farm animals to freshly roasting meat. I don’t mind though, and am actually fascinated by the plethora of diverse people strolling about.  _ These are my people, my subjects! _

Yuta begins holding my hand to keep me out of trouble, such as letting lost in the crowd or buying gifts for the countrymen. “It’s unbecoming of royalty and will cast a lot of suspicion upon your pretty head,” he would say. At first I would tell him not to call me that, but as time passed it begins to make me more and more flustered which is all the more frustrating, so I just end up saying nothing. I let Yuta continue to hold my hand mostly because it makes him happy. I am just indifferent, I think.

Or perhaps that’s what I wanted myself to think.

It was now two weeks since Taeyong and I had shared an intimate moment. I have barely gotten to see him; sometimes it’s a shuffling of the covers in the darkness or if I get lucky, a small kiss on the forehead and one rub on the back. Either way it was always the same: me waking up in an empty bed the next morning with a heart full of longing.

But then a knock would come on the door and Yuta would come in bearing a full tray and his brightest smile, and soon enough I don’t find myself wishing that it was Taeyong anymore. 

Taeyong is my husband and that remains a sacred fact in my heart, but I wanted to learn more about Yuta. Being a nobleman can mean a lot of loneliness, so I wanted Yuta to be my friend.

“How can you spend so much time with me when you’re supposed to be advising Taeyong?” I ask him one day.

He hums. “I try to spread my time as evenly as I can. Lately His Majesty’s been at these private meetings that he hasn’t need me to attend, so I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it than with you.”

“You always say such weird sentimental things,” I say with a slight blush.

He grins. “Oh? Is that such a bad thing?”

“I mean, I don’t know what you want me to say afterwards.”

“You needn’t say anything, Sichengie.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?!”

“Because it’s cute and unique, just like you!” He tries to pinch my cheeks but I dodge him just in time.

“I’m not cute,” I mumble indignantly in response to his pout.

“Ah, but His Majesty would beg to differ. I would beg to differ! You’re positively  _ adorable _ !” He flashes the traditional heart sign at me, the one where you’d cross two fingers to form a little heart.

I point at my body. “I’m a man.”

“Oh but I know that, Sichengie! And I’m  _ sure _ His Majesty realizes.” He winks, and I decide that I hate him so much. “But just because you’re a man doesn’t mean that you can’t be beautiful, Sicheng. In fact, you’re the most beautiful man to ever grace our kingdom.”

“Did Taeyong tell you to say that?” I ask more harshly than I meant to.

“No,” Yuta’s grin suddenly fades. “I really do think so. How else would you have captured the heart of our king?”

“It was an arranged marriage to align our kingdoms,” I say. “My uncle has no heirs.”

“It’s not just an arranged marriage to him,” Yuta says in all seriousness, “He thinks you’re beautiful, Sicheng. He’s in love with you. He wouldn’t have agreed to it otherwise.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I blurt out. “He’s never even met me before he agreed to the arranged marriage.”

“You...you really don’t know the kind of effect that you have on men, do you?” Yuta whispers. 

I feel my face heating up. It’s suddenly too hot in the bright morning of my bedroom, the sun being too far away to warm any parts of me. “Um...I’m not sure…”

“Oh Sicheng, are you telling me that you don’t know?” Yuta’s breath is cool and minty and only getting closer. “You’re absolutely divine. You have an angelic face, the softest porcelain features. A lithe figure that would entice any man or woman.”

I’m still unsure what to say, I let him press on. “And your eyes, don’t get me started on them. I’ve never seen such warm colors. They remind me of honey with how much golden warmth they radiate. May I see them up close?”

My tongue gets stuck in my parched throat, but he does so anyways without waiting for my answer. I have never had Yuta’s face so close to mine before, never seen him up close. But now that I have, it becomes difficult to take my gaze off the little flecks of green and amber in his hazel eyes. My Adam’s Apple feels as if it’s lodged in my throat. I can’t conjure up words.

Because Yuta Nakamoto is drop-dead, deadly gorgeous with his fluffy hair like brown caramel and his eyes bright and fierce like the autumn woods. A fire burns within them, different from the galaxies that glittered inside Taeyong’s dark eyes. While Taeyong is all caution and reservation and royalty, Yuta is wild, unpredictable, and independent. 

I am the first one to break eye contact before he can lean any closer. Yuta Nakamoto may be a siren, but Taeyong is still a king. More importantly, my husband. I dismiss Yuta shortly afterwards, hiding my red face. We don’t say much to each other for the rest of the day.

* * *

Taeyong finally gets a day off and he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, first thing in the morning. He looks so much youthful in his sleep with no dark circles under his eyes, just all soft hair and rosy cheeks and thin pink lips. I plant a kiss on his forehead, but he is out like a light and I do not want to disturb his sleep. In what little times I do see him, he cannot stop talking about 127, thinking 127, dreaming about 127. 

The few times we make love, he rams himself inside me with no touch or stroke to my own dick. Then he turns in positions and falls asleep again, leaving me to whimper, squirm, and take care of myself next to him in the everlasting darkness. Then I lay awake next to him for hours, feeling unfulfilled and alone.

I try to voice this to him one time but he is preoccupied with speaking to one of his 127 cult members, a tall young man by the name of Jaehyun who happened to have flawless skin and thick dark hair and a red-lipped smile that my husband keeps looking at. Taeyong is so preoccupied in speaking to this Jaehyun creature that he barely acknowledges my existence, if not having the servants to hurry and pull me away because apparently I wasn’t educated or sophisticated or plain good enough to understand the politics of his kingdom.

“Did you have a rough morning?” he asks me the next morning we sit at breakfast together (for the first time in forever).

“No,” I answer curtly, reaching over the table to help myself to cream puffs and parfait. 

He sighs. “That makes one of us. Listen, I’m sorry but I have meetings all week to attend…” 

“It is what it is,” I say icily, stabbing my fork harder than necessary through my strawberry parfait. “I’m not surprised anymore.”

There is a moment of silence before he sets his cup down. “What is that supposed to mean?”

I’m taken aback. My kind, sweet husband had never used such a sharp tone with me before. 

“It’s nothing important,” I grumble quietly. 

“Has Yuta Nakamoto said anything to you?” he asks in the same sharp tone, eyes narrowing. 

“He’s here for me more than  _ you _ are,” I say without much thinking. I watch as Taeyong’s pink lips purse tightly together, the swiftness and elegance of his movements as he sets his cup down with a clunk and swiftly strolls out of the room. 

I lose my appetite for breakfast pretty quickly after that.

* * *

“Sicheng? Are you okay??” Yuta cries in almost despair as he finally manages to shove my doors open. 

I don’t answer him as I continue burying my face into my arms. My heart has been hurting for so long, and Taeyong’s swift exit has sealed my feeling that he was already growing disinterested of me. 

I try to tell Yuta the bare minimum but end up pouring my heart out to him. I wouldn’t normally show my emotions in this way, but I have no one and I really need someone and Yuta is here, all warm embraces and no shame as he envelopes me in his arms. He smells like the autumn leaves falling down to the earth and cinnamon and brown sugar. I bury my face into his shoulder as I sob out my frustrations, my malice, my agony with Taeyong’s abandonment.

“I am sure His Majesty still loves you very much,” Yuta’s soothing voice coos at me, one hand stroking through my disheveled blond hair, “He would never stop loving you. As the king has a responsibility to uphold his kingdom duties first and foremost. I am sure it is nothing personal.”

“He always makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him,” I mutter softly. A hand suddenly grips my cheeks, a gentle yet with a firm grip that forces me to look up and into a pair of hazel eyes.

“Yuta?” I gulp at the intensity of his stare.

“Don’t you ever,” he says, arms gripping me into a deathly-tight hug, “Say that you’re not good enough, because you are. Just look at you.  _ Look _ at you! Have you seen the fullness of your lips, your eyes,  _ that smile _ ? I mean it when I say that His Majesty is the luckiest man in the world because he’s married to the most beautiful.” 

My tears are gone but I think I may have died due to the butterflies suddenly erupting into my stomach. Taeyong is still the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

But I notice, and this is not the first time, that Yuta is beautiful too, perhaps just as much so.

* * *

Yuta comes again to ask if he can take me out another time just to give me a breath of fresh air and I agree right away because I am lonely. So our cloaks are back on, his green and mine red, happily flapping in the wind as we browse through the street market. I am not used to this side of town as it is where the foreign merchants come to sell their goods and we usually do not venture out this far. But Yuta has been here before on business trips for the king and I do trust Yuta. 

We stop in a hustling square and my eyes cannot take in enough of the sight. 

It is a beautiful chaos. Merchants both from Neo Kingdom and foreign are selling their goods: precious spices such as truffles and saffron, trinkets of gold and silver, jewelry made from diamond and ruby, rich silk brocades, squealing pigs, whinnying horses, barking dogs, golden peaches, apricots, figs, watermelons, and-

“I remember that you like strawberries.” Yuta is all wide smile and pink cheeks as he hands me a woven basket filled generously to the brim with bright jewel-red berries. 

My mouth drops. “Yuta...this must have cost a fortune.”

Yuta shrugs. “The crown is generous, and so am I.” 

“I don’t know how to thank you…” I must have flushed the same color as the berries.

“I know how. You can let me take you to the lake!”

“The lake? But that’s even further, almost on the edge of the kingdom!”

Yuta beans, grabbing hold of my hand as per usual. “Then we must hurry before the sun goes down!”

He leads me past the glass beads and porcelain vases and jade jewelry back to our awaiting carriage, which has drawn a small, curious crowd around it. 

“This is a royal carriage,” someone whispers, “What’s it doing on this side of town?”

“I’ve heard that our king married some commoner from another kingdom,” another one says, “A young  _ man _ , for God’s sake!”

“Hush. We must not question our king,” yet another one adds, “He saved us from the tyranny that ruled before us.”

Yuta’s hand, which is still holding onto mine, balls into tight fists. I can feel the anger radiating off him as he marches us through the crowd, uncharacteristically pushing his way past people until he and I reach our carriage. People ooh, ahh, gasp, and whisper furiously among themselves as they watch Yuta and I climb into the carriage, the door slamming harshly on the rest of the villagers. 

* * *

  
  


Yuta is mostly silent on the ride to the lake. I realize that I am still holding the basket of strawberries, and with Yuta’s gaze drifting off into the distance, I begin popping the jewel-red berries into my mouth. Flavors of tart sweetness burst onto my tongue, filling my mouth with a delightfully juicy taste. I must have been loud because Yuta looks over at me as I’m in the middle of eating and he seems to be fighting a smile on his face. 

“Here, let me get that for you.” With silky fingers, he takes a handkerchief and wipes the sticky strawberry juice off my lips. His hand brushes up against my cheek a couple of times, and I have to close my eyes, for his hands are cool and slender and gentle, nothing like the warm and giant hands I’ve grown so accustomed to being held in.

“Thank you,” I say quietly. 

I miss being held. It is something that I never thought I’d be longing for before I was married, but now that I’ve had a taste of it, it is difficult to live without. So throughout the entire bumpy carriage ride, as the village and its stone buildings begin to fade away into the distance, as the view outside our carriage windows become green and brown and oak and willow, as we come closer and closer to the lake, it is as if I am being taken on a journey to reach the sun. If only my life could always be this way!

* * *

It is a beautiful evening as the sun begins to melt behind the hills, creating an array of pastels and rainbows. Yuta orders the guards to stand guarding the bottom of the hill, preferring to escort me up the hill to watch the sunset himself.

Deep down, I was beginning to feel things that shouldn’t exist, things that shouldn’t ever exist. The more I gaze at Yuta the darker my thoughts were becoming, and it was going to a point of no return. He looks radiant in the evening light, an ethereal halo of light surrounding him and illuminating his entire figure. I am entranced, but moreover, I am overwhelmed by a mixture of what I can only describe as longing and guilt. 

I try so hard to keep calm as Yuta takes hold of my hand and leads me to a clearing underneath a willow tree where we have a clear view of the lake in all its evening glory. Pinks, blues, purples and oranges streak across the sky in a race to spread their colors. It’s romantic and soft and everything that I would have wanted with a certain husband of mine, but he could not be the furthest thing from my mind right now. Yuta has slipped his arm around me, forcing my head to be nestled in the crook of his shoulders (or perhaps I wanted them to be). All seems too right within the world for me to pull away.

“Have you ever been to this lake before, Sichengie?”

“Not during sunset,” I mumble into the last of my strawberries. “Did you uh, did you want some? Sorry I kind of ate most of it.”

“I know how fond you are of strawberries, Sichengie. I bought those for you.” He chuckles as his hand reaches into the basket, holding the last strawberry to my lips.

I hesitate before taking it as quickly as possible and turning away so my face wouldn’t turn the color of the berry. This isn’t right...even Taeyong has never fed me berries before. 

“What did you spend most of your time doing before you met  _ me _ ? Before you met His Majesty?” he asks me as if everything between us is peachy and friendly. 

One of his hands come to ruffle my hair and I have to work extra hard to shoo it away. “I was the son of an Archduke, so I pretty much had it made,” I answer honestly, “I had horses to ride and nice food to eat, but nothing as luxurious as this.”

Yuta smiles. “You’re royalty now. How does it feel to be royal?”

“Honestly… not that different. People hardly ever noticed me before. And they hardly notice me now.” Being the youngest in a family of nobility can have its hardships. 

“Hm, are you sure about that?” 

“A-am I sure what about?” I ask as Yuta suddenly seems a lot closer than he was before. 

His hazel eyes are piercing into me, as if trying to devour every single expression of mine. “I don’t think people would have a problem noticing you.”

I would have shifted away from Yuta at this point, but his arm is still around me and though his grip doesn’t seem to be getting firmer, I am the one who cannot pull away.

I swallow, my throat parched. “Even if people do notice me, it usually doesn’t last. I’m...nobody special.”

“Oh,  _ Sicheng _ .” Yuta says quietly, and I look back up at him, my eyes completely focused on him this time. “You’re  _ too  _ special to describe. Too special and too beautiful and too precious for this world. Anyone who fails to notice you is a fool.”

His lips are too parted and pink and perfect, and they look as soft as the cherry blossom petals in the royal gardens. “You dare call Taeyong a fool?” I rasp, my voice almost completely gone. 

Yuta’s smirk is wry as if he knows that I am not threatening him. “I would never dare call His Majesty that,” he says, “but what am I to think after I witness the way he’s practically abandoned you? Why, if you were  _ mine _ , I would never allow you to become this sad. I would cherish you and love you the way you deserve, Dong Sicheng. I would hold you, hug you, kiss you, and never let you go.” 

Time seems to have stopped as my mouth drops open. “Yuta…” 

His hazel eyes are jade greens and earthy browns and golden ambers all in one as he takes both of my hands into his. Their softness envelops mine, connecting us in a way I hadn’t thought possible.

“ _ Be with me instead _ , Dong Sicheng. I love you dearly and will treat you a thousand times better than this fraudulent king you’re married to. I have the same amount of gold in my pockets and a lot more to offer you.  _ Life _ has a lot more to offer you than an unfaithful husband.”

I only find my voice after a few seconds after shaking my head. “I can’t be unfaithful to Taeyong. I’m not that kind of person, Yuta.” Then the impact of his words suddenly hits me, strong and cold and cruel. “What do you mean by  _ unfaithful husband _ ?”

Yuta’s eyebrows shoot up. “You didn’t know? Oh Sicheng, I am ever so sorry.”

I feel dread building rocks in my stomach. “What do you mean?”

“Well...it has been a tradition for kings to have more than one lover. Concubines, if you will.”

“But he married  _ me _ !” My voice cracks with fury. “He told me I’m his only one!”

Yuta shakes his head. “He can very well lie to you, Sicheng. I’m so sorry. I really am. I thought you knew. He has had multiple lovers besides you.” 

I feel myself withering in distraught, my heart breaking into two. The world is spinning in front of my eyes, and every single good memory I have with Taeyong flashes into my mind, picturesque one second, grotesque the next. 

“It can’t be true,” I whisper, the words ringing horribly in my own ear, “It simply can’t be true.”

Yuta’s eyes are sad, sympathetic, reflective of my own emotions as he wraps both his arms around me. “Sicheng… I’m so sorry. But just because he isn’t here for you doesn’t mean that I am not.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, as if that would force the tears to back themselves into my body. “He told me that he’s only been with one other person with me. And that it wasn’t even important to him.”

I feel Yuta freeze for a second before his hands return to my back, soft and silky and angelic and caressing right where I need them the most. “Your importance is not determined by him, Sicheng.”

“He was my first. Even though our marriage soured soon enough, I tried to keep my head high. I tried, for him. I wanted things to work between us so badly.”

“I know, Sicheng,” Yuta whispers gently, “But you must ask yourself if this is worth it. Are you in love with him?”

“I….. I thought I was.”

“I think you were in love with the idea of being with him. When you lose something or someone you love, it can feel like the world is ending. Right?”

Yuta’s words bring me over the edge and I can no longer hold in my tears. I sob into his shoulder, ugly tears and crocodile tears and tears of pain. He hugs me tight as I press against his chest, feeling his warmth and the steadiness of his heartbeat, his aura so different than that of Taeyong’s, but not bad, not bad at all. In fact, when Yuta is holding me, I don’t feel comfort and security and shy like I do with Taeyong. A part of my heartbeat thrums with excitement as it feels like electricity shoots up my veins. Mixed with my current state of agony, it is a very confusing twister of emotions, too complex for me to navigate.

“I can understand you in some ways,” Yuta whispers softly, his hand still stroking my back, “I went to a foreign kingdom to study sportsmanship and horseback riding a few years back. I returned after the uprising. All my family had died in the war.” 

The shaking of his voice is what brings me back to reality, and I look at him with wide eyes, never having realized this, never having realized how many burdens that kind, smiling Yuta must have been carrying all this time as well. 

“I don’t know what to say,” I croak through my raspy voice, “It is a situation beyond that of what I can imagine. I missed my family everyday while I was here. It pains me to hear that you can never see them again…”

“No need to pity me.” Even now in the most dire of situations, Yuta still flashes me that ever-charming, ever-handsome smile. “I have learnt how to survive on my own. But life is never fun to live with one’s own, isn’t it? We all need someone, at the end of the day.”

“Yuta…”

“Sicheng.” He sits me up, looking me directly in the eyes. “I think that when you married the king, you were in love with the idea of someone loving you rather than Taeyong himself. Am I correct in assuming this?”

I shrug a hiccup out of myself. “I don’t know. I thought that I would never have to worry about anything ever again, and that my family would be better off too.”

“Think carefully, Sicheng. If you don’t know whether you love him or not, how can you really be sure?”

The realization slowly dawns unto me. “I can’t be sure.”

“Exactly. You yearn for love, innocent and everlasting, pure and human love, but that can be difficult to experience with kings. That doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It just means that perhaps your first marriage wasn’t the one meant for you.”

In the afterglow of sunset, I am still mesmerized by the way Yuta seems to glow with the twilight. He sits here in the grass with me, a beacon of light holding me during my bleakest hour. 

“I haven’t had much in the way of the world,” I blurt out to Yuta, opening myself up to him. He blinks at me curiously. 

I am extremely vulnerable in this moment, crumbling, a painful, painful mess. I want to open myself up to Yuta, to bear my soul to him. At this moment, I desperately want someone to accept me for the way I am.

“I’m the youngest of my father’s children. I did nothing to earn the Earl title, but it was given to me at birth because my father is an Archduke. My older brothers and sisters were to learn the family trade and keep the nobility. I was always dismissed as the cute one, just a little boy, probably to be a small keeper of the house or something when I grew up. And then I became engaged to a king and everything changed, and all of a sudden people noticed me, if only just for a little while. But they acknowledged my existence, Taeyong acknowledged my existence, and to know that all of that is never coming back and might not have been real…” my voice trails off. It is too much a burden to bear.’

“Don’t think of it in that way. I know this is hard, but someday you may look back at it as a learning experience, a lesson of life. I can see how much pain you’re in through your eyes, and I so, so badly want to take away some of your hurt, take away some of your pain. Would you let me do that for you?”

“Yuta, I… it still doesn’t feel right. It's too soon. I am still wearing my wedding ring.”

“How much longer do you intend to suffer through this marriage?” Yuta asks, not meaning to sound as harsh as he does. 

I bite my lip. “Not much longer.” I mean I have no idea where I will go or what I’m going to do next, but I certainly wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life in an unfaithful marriage. 

Yuta’s hand is warm as he slips it into mine. “I know that this timing may be rather intimidating and that you are going through so much right now, but I want to firmly emphasize to you that you are not alone. Not every man will treat you this way, Sicheng.” 

He presses his lips to the shell of my ear, planting light kisses there onto the already-pink skin. “I would never treat you this way. No one can  _ ever _ love you as much as _ I _ love you.”

“Yuta,” I murmur one last time before our lips find their way to each other and connect in a tangle of saliva and warmth and comfort. I feel Yuta sigh into the kiss, physically shudder as if he can’t believe that it’s happening.

His small gasps are what make me pull away. “I’m sorry, Yuta. I don’t think we should do this.”

The hurt in his eyes is so intense that it makes my stomach lurch painfully and brings a wave of my own pain into my heartache.

“Am I not good enough for you, Sicheng? I was once a―”

“It’s not that.” I say quickly. “It’s―it’s everything that’s happening with Taeyong. If I get together with you, just like this, it wouldn’t be fair to you because I would still be getting over my feelings for Taeyong. You’re amazing and you’re so beautiful that you deserve someone a lot better than someone like me.”

“I don’t  _ want _ anyone else other than you, Sicheng,” Yuta sighs wistfully into my neck, throwing himself into my arms, “You’re all I ever wanted from the first moment I saw you. You’re the most goddamn beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. God, you have no idea how badly I wanted you.” 

“It must have been painful for you then, “ I tell him softly, “During my marriage to the king.”

Yuta’s smile remains, but his hazel eyes become weighed with a heavy sadness. “The most painful thing in this world is knowing that the one you love is in love with someone else, but I held onto hope. I couldn’t be sure at that point in time if you loved the king or if it was just an arranged marriage. So I waited. Wanted to see how things would play out.”

I frown. “But you also don’t know if I love you in return, that is.”

When Yuta tosses back his head and laughs, it is both melodic and beautiful. “Fair point, my dear Sicheng. But when you’re in love, you don’t give up hope. I was going to wait as long as it took. I would wait forever for you.”

“Why me, though? Why are you in love with me?”

“Oh Sicheng, Sicheng,  _ Sicheng _ . The real question is why wouldn’t I be in love with you?” 

I look into Yuta’s eyes and their sincerity, the comfort of their sheer embrace and warmth alone. I think of all those nights when I felt alone, all those nights when I thought I had nobody and then Yuta showed up and Yuta was smiling his bright handsome smile and he was inviting me to spend time with him and he was letting me cry into his shoulder when I’d have spats with Taeyong and when I’d felt nothing other than sorrow and even when I felt anger he would let me rant and scream and cry to him and just sit there and listen and sometimes hold me. Yuta, who would rub my back if I was missing my family back in my own kingdom and who would sympathize with me, coo at me, tell me jokes to get me to smile, sing me to sleep with his beautiful voice, and hold my hand and tell me about the books he’s read and places he’s traveled to and the places that he would take me to in the future. At some point, it had become more than platonic.

I’ve never realized how long I’ve been bottling it inside, this desire to kiss Yuta and touch him and to know his body. But now that I’ve finally accepted its presence, it overtakes me, a yearning in my belly, a fire threatening to consume what was left of me.

“Kiss me, Yuta.”

And he does. Passionately. 

I moan, because I don’t remember the last time I’ve been kissed like this and this is my first kiss with Yuta and it’s in the evening after sunset by the lake where nobody was watching us and it was our place and our first kiss with each other. 

Eventually the innocent kiss becomes something deeper, something that awakened the more feral parts inside of us. 

We kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss and we kiss as the sun dips all the way below the horizon and the twilight fades into night and the stars come out to silently wink at us. 

  
  


* * *

Later that night, my hands are tangled up in Yuta’s hair, ever so brown and soft as I imagined as we tangle our bodies in Yuta’s bed. Instead of caramel like its appearance portrays, it smells of strawberries and sunshine and golden afternoons and of tender and utter adoration. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” Yuta growls as he kisses every part of my body, leaving no inch untouched, “Damn. Damn.  _ Damn _ . Have you any idea how beautiful you are, Dong Sicheng?”

“I’m having some ideas now,” I whisper quietly, and Yuta seizes my lips into a frenzied kiss, hot and sinful and full of passion.

We kiss for a rather long time. Yuta’s lips are the embodiment of softness themselves, battling with my tongue for dominance as he claims every part of my mouth. It is open-mouthed, languid, wet. A string of saliva connects our mouths together when we finally break apart for air. 

I throw my head back as his lips attack my neck, planting frenzied kisses all over my throat and lips and face and neck. He sucks hard at my neck, not enough to leave a hickey but enough to break the skin and make it bleed a little, enticing me to moan his name. “Yuta. Oh, Yuta.” 

He looks up at me, his eyes dark with passion and wanton lust as he lets out an almost guttural growl. He’s between my bare legs now, nipping at the sensitive skin on my inner thighs. 

Yuta’s teeth are relentless and it isn’t long before I’m gripping his hair, moaning my way to the heavens as his mouth engulfs around my swollen pink cock. I’m sizeable enough that he can take the entirety of me into his mouth and he does so, making me see stars and tug at his beautiful brown hair. 

He pulls his lips off with a pop just before I come undone, and I barely have enough time to whine at the loss of friction before I feel his elegant and rough fingers thrust inside of me.

I moan at the stretching, a little rough, a little kinky, a little of everything but this is Yuta and I lose my thoughts quickly as two of his fingers begin to relentlessly thrust at my prostate. I feel the first waves of precum shudder through my body as he works me, as I fuck myself down onto his fingers as deeply as I can.

“You’re so eager, baby,” Yuta grunts, smiling up at me with that ever-charming, ever-handsome, classic smile of his, “So eager for me. Tell me how much you want it.”

“I want you, Yuta,” I croak out as he changes his speed, “W-want you so bad. More than anything in the world.”

“Then don’t hold back for me, baby,” Yuta whispers as he lines himself up with my hole back there. He wraps my arms around his neck and smiles at me after planting a peck on my nose. Then he swiftly enters me in one motion.

The first thrust makes me almost collapse with pain, and I have to bite Yuta’s bony shoulder in order not to scream. But as Yuta picks up rhythm, he keeps steadily thrusting in and out of me that makes my walls sheath him as tight as they could, trying to hold him there for as long as I can.

“Oh fuck, baby,” Yuta throws his head back as he thrusts harder, deeper, “You feel so good, baby.  _ So  _ damn good for me.”

“Yuta!” I mewl, scratching red marks into his smooth back. “Oh, _ Yuta _ ! Yuta,  _ please _ !” 

“Shh baby, I’ll take care of you,” his lips brush across my ear, “You don’t have to worry about a single thing. I’ll make you feel good, I’ll love you so damn good.”

And then Yuta’s picking up his speed, slamming his hips into mine, pressing me into the mattress, hitting my sweet spot over and over again, his lips kissing mine, his tongue wrecking my mouth trying to claim it, and I can feel my ograsm building. He continues to kiss me wetly and languidly and passionately as he generously spills into me, hot and gushing and white until the liquid begins dripping out of my hole from overflow. I whisper Yuta’s one more time before I come undone as well, spilling sticky white ribbons all over both of our stomachs and front bodies. 

My brain is fuzzy as I allow myself to go limp on the mattress, the sensation of Yuta’s girth still filling me to the brim. After he catches his own breath, one of Yuta’s arms wrap itself around me and pull me close to him until our naked, sweaty bodies meld together, the smell of sweat and sex hanging heavily in the air.

“That was amazing, love,” Yuta hums as he strokes my pink cheeks, “You were amazing. The way your eyes filled with tears when I was inside you, the way you spread your pretty legs open for me…” 

“Not as amazing as you,” I admit with a blush. 

“I know it was neither of our first times, but,” Yuta says as his smiling hazel eyes meet mine, “It was my first time with you, and that makes it more special than anything else ever could be. Say the words, sweetness, and I am all yours. Only yours.” 

“Yuta,” is all I can manage to whisper before his lips are claiming mine in a slow, passionate kiss that takes all the doubt and hesitation out of me.

“I love you, Dong Sicheng. Nothing in this world could make me ever stop loving you. I know that you and I were meant to be the second I laid eyes on you.”

It would take me awhile to repeat the affirmations of love back to him because I wasn’t sure what this is yet. But then Yuta opens his eyes to smile at me and fondle my hair with such a loving and gentle caress that my heart almost melts right then and there. 

Any other time I’d have thought Yuta cheesy, but right now it is romantic, because Yuta and I are tangled up with each other’s bodies and his legs are over mine under the sex-soaked blankets and it is just us alone in the world right now, the rhythm of our heartbeats syncing together. 

* * *

At first I dismiss it as a one-time thing, a moment of weakness and desperation for self-esteem and wanton lust. But then Yuta is winking at me, Yuta is hanging out by my side just like old times, Yuta is smiling at me and cooing at me and caressing my hair when no one is looking. And I being the kind of person I am, am too weak to resist Yuta’s charismatic smile, Yuta’s handsome demeanor, Yuta’s bright and loving energy when he offers it all to me. It goes from one night to two nights to a couple nights per week to every night, with Yuta holding me and caressing me and telling me how much I mean to him, how he would give the world to me, how he has plans to rule this kingdom himself, and how he would love for me to run away with him. 

That is how my affair with Yuta Nakamoto begins. 

  
_End of Chapter 1_


	2. Baby I Don't Want Anybody But You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta and Sicheng have a full-blown affair. Taeyong finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I finally finally managed to finish writing this Monster chapter. It is unBeta'd and I stayed up until 2 am so I hope you enjoy! I have decided to make this story 3 chapters long instead :)

* * *

Try as I might, I couldn’t step away from the enigma that was Yuta Nakamoto. He was enticing, he was wicked, he was sin personified, and he loved me in a way that I thought no human capable of. 

I knew that adultery was wrong and hell, I knew that I was becoming sin personified, and I was tearing down every moral pillar I’ve ever built.

But when our sweaty, naked bodies tangle, when our lips touch and our hot tongues caress and his pulsating girth grinds against mine, it feels as if there is just Yuta and I in the world and something beautiful blossoming between us. 

First we would start off in Yuta’s chambers because his offered more privacy, but as days turned to weeks and the weeks became a month and the other half of my bed was always empty, Yuta and I began to experiment in both of our chambers. We both knew there would be underlying consequences if we were caught, but when Yuta’s tongue was in my mouth and his hand caressing me into pieces, I couldn’t give a damn about anyone in the world but him.

The name Taeyong was far back in the corners of my mind as I sit down to lavish breakfasts on my private balcony with my lover, Yuta Nakamoto. Yuta and I would watch the sun lightening the sky to a beautiful shade of pink in the morning light, and the servants would bring us green tea puffs, cream, sugar, honey, rose and lavender tea, rolls dipped in butter and caviar, mountains of chocolate mousse, slices of watermelon, peaches, mangoes, wine made from the finest grapes in the kingdom, and strawberries that sparkled like pearls. 

I have always considered myself a rather decent reader of people, especially people that I know well or care about a lot. During my time here, it has been Yuta that’s grown the closest to me, Yuta that has never betrayed me, Yuta that’s always had a hand on my back and a shoulder for me to cry on. Yuta is all smiles all day everyday, and even if he isn’t smiling, by the time I am walking through the doorway he has his smile that can heal a thousand and his arms open, waiting for me. 

One lovely and quiet morning, I was having my morning tea on my balcony with Yuta per usual when I see a sight that I’d never thought I’d see, much less have to hide from: Taeyong strolling through the gardens with none other than the one they called Jaehyun. Their arms weren’t linked like mine and Taeyong’s had been in the past, but still I could feel the drop of my gut, the agonizing clench of my heart as if it had been stabbed, the avalanche of food threatening to vomit itself out of my stomach. 

The more time I spent with Yuta, the more bitter at Taeyong I became. If ruining our happily ever after wasn’t enough, he had to make a point that I myself wasn’t good enough for him and that he had to have many, many other lovers to satisfy his needs. Perhaps I’d been mistaken about him being a kind and caring king. Perhaps he’d been cruel and unfaithful on the inside all along.

I reach across the table for Yuta’s hand. He looks at me in both surprise and happiness as I take his longer fingers in mine, gripping it and stroking it and kissing it with all I have. I had to make sure we stay out of sight of Taeyong, though.

“Sicheng, my lovely, aren’t you being affectionate today?” Yuta coos as he strokes his fingers through mine. “Usually you tend to be more reserved in public. What’s gotten into you?”

I look away from him, not prepared to answer, but as soon as my head turns, his line of sight follows my gaze and lands themselves on none other than Taeyong and Jaehyun during their leisurely stroll. The kind of strolls Taeyong and I used to take. 

“Oh,” Yuta says very softly, his eyes growing wide. “Oh Sicheng, I am so sorry.” 

I bite my lips to keep myself from crying. I wanted to be strong. 

Although it’s been a long while since Taeyong and I have shared a caress let alone any intimacy, the mere physical sight of seeing him walking with one of his other lovers was simply too much for my heart to handle. My fragile heart breaks at even the idea of him with other lovers, with other human beings taking my place, as if I were a piece of meat only good for one thing in the first place. Sometimes when I am alone at night, I imagine them tangling together in the sheets, him running his hands over their naked bodies and them running their hands through his hair that resembled soft black velvet. 

And then the deepest pangs of jealousy would well up within me, this sinking, horrifying, underlying feeling that would consume me: heart, mind, body, and soul. It ached and it ached and some nights I threw up from the amount of distress it caused my being, for being trapped in a palace was its own kind of hell and something that I knew all too well.

I can no longer stop myself from lodging my face into Yuta’s shoulder, being sure to keep my voice down as I weep my heart out.

“Sicheng, Sicheng,” Yuta clicks his tongue, “You deserve better than this. You deserve so much better than this.”

I press my face harder into his shoulder, my cries growing louder. Yuta’s face fills with concern as he nearly bridal-carries me back inside my chambers. 

“I miss my family,” I confess to Yuta, “ I miss them so much that it hurts, Yuta.” 

“I understand how you feel,” Yuta says sadly, caressing one soft pale hand through the strands of my hair. “I miss my family too sometimes.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your family around before,” I say out of curiosity. 

I could feel Yuta freeze in place. On one hand, he seems to be trying to comprehend the question I had just asked, which honestly didn’t seem that hard. On the other, however, he’d look as if every ghost from his past had just returned to haunt him.

“No… my family does not live here.”

“Then where do they live? Back in your hometown?”

“No,” Yuta sighs heavily, taking a couple breaths before he begins to speak again. “No… my family are not among the living, Sicheng. They are all… deceased.”

“Oh… Yuta, I didn’t knowㅡ” I begin to apologize, but he cuts me off with the brightest, saddest smile he’s ever given me, wrapping his arms warmly around me.

“Hush, Sicheng. You are all I have now, and I love you. I love you more than the stars love the universe itself, my darling.”

A feeling of warmth and light creeps up into my chest until it explodes into a euphony of happiness and pure joy, the brightest joy I’ve ever experienced during my life. I thought I had been in love with Taeyong, but maybe I had just been in love with the idea of him. Perhaps I had also been in love with the idea of giving my family a chance at an easy life, the chance to live on without any grievances or worries. Perhaps still, I am in love with the idea of being a royal.

Then Yuta came along, all cherry smiles and soft pink lips and sparkling hazel eyes and a flop of caramel brown hair. If I thought I’d been in love with Taeyong, I was simply bewitched by Yuta Nakamoto.

I was sick to my stomach with myself and so incredibly lovestruck at the same time. I knew in my heart that the gods may strike me down for my adultery, but at the same time another man had become the owner of my heart, my being, my very soul. If Taeyong and I falling apart was painful, it was painful to imagine my life without Yuta in it at this point.

Throughout the course of my affair, we became more and more like lovers. I was almost beginning to feel as if I’d married Yuta instead of Taeyong, and part of me wishes I had. 

I think both of us knew that this wouldn’t be kept a secret forever. But we were both lost in the throes of our passion, the epitome of our bliss, and it was difficult to put mind over matter as my being was consumed with the touches, thoughts, and essence of Yuta.

_ Yuta, Yuta, Yuta _, I’d chant into the night as we make love almost nightly, sometimes rough and full of sharp words and sweat-soaked sheets, sometimes slow and sensual and full of gentle caresses. The comfort of Yuta’s embrace is like that of none other than I have ever known. 

And that’s when I realized that I was falling deeply in love with Yuta Nakamoto. 

* * *

“Marry me, Sicheng.” 

We’d both been laying in the aftermath of our passionate tangle, the sticky cum and sweat having become dried and crusty on my thighs. Yuta’s hand had been absentmindedly stroking my hair, and I’d been cuddling with him when he’d popped the question. 

“What?” I ask, afraid that my hearing was going.

He grabs my face with gentle hands and turns me so that I am looking into the green and brown depths of his eyes. “Marry me, Dong Sicheng.”

So I had heard him right. My breath hitches as I nearly lose the ability to speak, a million thoughts running through my mind at the same time. He’s looking at me so intently, so seriously that nothing else in the world seems to exist except for him.

“Yuta,” I begin, not really sure what words were going to come out next from my mouth, “I am already married.” 

That is the wrong thing to say, for I know Yuta well by now and I know that he is incredibly angry when his voice grows low and his face quietly seethes. 

“And how is that marriage going for you, my dear?” he snaps at me. “You barely see each other, you barely even speak, and you each have your own lovers that you attend to…”

“Stop!” I snap. “Stop reminding me! Why do you always, always have to talk about it? We can’t even go for a day and have tea without you bringing up my husband!”

“Your _ husband _ is barely a husband,” Yuta hisses through gritted teeth, “He is but a boy, a foolish young man who knows nothing about being a husband, nothing about loving someone, and nothing about being king!”

“You have no right to speak about him like that!”

“Do I?” Yuta sneers. “Don’t forget Sicheng, that I am the one who took care of you when you had no one, when he all but abandoned you. I am the one who has been here for you all along!”

“I can’t annul my marriage just like that,” I say, “I have no idea what would happen to me...or my family. It would be such a scandal!”

Yuta’s expression softens. “You don’t have to stay here,” he says, caressing the small of my back, “You can come with me, you know. We can run away together.”

“Run away?” I gasp, scandalized. “But Yuta...we’re...we can’t! Where will we go?”

“Anywhere but here,” Yuta replies as-matter-of-factly, “Would that be so bad? Starting a new future where we can be together without the worrisome troubles of our past?”

“It certainly wouldn’t be anything we’re used to,” I say, “I know that you probably don’t come from a noble family, but still―”

“Ah, I _ see _. So it’s royalty that strikes your fancy,” Yuta says rather sharply, “It’s silk sheets and fur robes and gold crowns that make up the better part of your world. Isn’t that right, Sicheng?”

“That’s not true.” I can feel my face growing redder, hotter. “I just don’t want to make any rash decisions. What I do in this kingdom can and will impact my family from the other kingdom.”

“I noticed how you didn’t mention that disloyal husband of yours much in this conversation,” Yuta drawls with a smirk that makes me rather uncomfortable, “I guess he doesn’t play a big role in your decision, does he?”

“In spite of it all, he is still my king,” I retort, just as sharply, “And he is still my husband.”

“Has he always been the doting husband that you deserve through thick and thin, if at all?”

“I would prefer it if you did not come between me and my marriage, Yuta,” I snap, “It is none of anyone’s business but my own.”

This makes Yuta furious, and I can tell because he’s gritting his teeth and wetting his lips before something venomous comes out of them. 

“Sicheng, I would do_ anything _, anything at all for you,” he says, standing up next to his bed so he towers over me. “Wouldn’t you do the same for me?” 

I hesitate. “I―”

“Or did you not mean anything you’ve told me? After all this time?”

“Yuta, please―it’s not what you―”

“I’ve been in love with you this entire time, Sicheng. You are breaking my heart, shattering it into a million pieces, by choosing him over me.”

“I’m not choosing him over you!”

“But you are also not choosing me over him.”

“Yuta...I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t know what is the right thing to say or do. I’d never thought I’d be in this situation…” It takes me a minute to process what he just said. Part of me is thrilled, enthralled, absolutely giddy that he loved me. The other part of me feels guilty and incredibly confused, but I try to keep it down.

Yuta gently scoots me off of himself. “Take some more time to think about it, then,” He plants a kiss on my forehead before entwining our arms together, “My sweetheart.”

* * *

Yuta asks me to marry him again a few days later, when he was popping juicy morsels of red grapes into my mouth. Again I turn him down.

“Sicheng,” Yuta says, “Look at me.” The bathwater splashes over the side a bit as he shuffles closer to me, if it were possible. 

I do as he wishes. Those hazel eyes are burning with desire.

“Sicheng,” he murmurs his promise like a precious gift, “I would never leave you. You occupy my heart and mind all day. I would ask you a thousand times, my love, and if you still refuse, I shall ask a thousand more, to show you how devoted I am.”

I moan as he plants soft butterfly kisses onto my neck, a sensitive point for me. The bathwater seemingly grows hotter and the bubbles around us burst, as Yuta wraps his arms around me, pulling me even closer to him. 

I have stopped denying myself that I was falling deeply in love with Yuta Nakamoto. At this point, nothing would have been easier than acceptance and acceptance is ultimately what I have. However, we still face the bitter reality that a marriage annulation was impossible, perhaps involving someone’s head getting taken off. That goes strongly against my wishes, and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what pitfalls would rain down upon my family’s reputation. 

Yuta is unrelenting in his proposal for my hand. I become aware that he meant every word he’d said to me, especially since he never loses his smile that could heal any wound. Mine included. 

Yuta has been protecting me this entire time, from the rest of the cruel world and from the deepest, darkest shards of myself. I picture Yuta chasing me through the gardens, threatening to weave roses and peonies into my hair. (“You have such pretty blond hair, Sichengie!”)

As the days grow colder, Yuta would wake me up with breakfast in bed instead of having servants bring it out onto the balcony. I would unwind my covers for him and he would crawl in with me, next to me, holding me close, holding me tight as we happily munch on fruitcake and whipped cream and spun sugar. 

With Yuta, I got to try a lot of things I hadn’t before. His horseback riding skills are something to desire for, his fencing flawless, and his craftsmanship absolutely beautiful. Yuta takes me out to the lake many more times, to watch the sunset and the stars and to sometimes have picnics. We didn’t care how wet or marshy the evening meadow was around us as we make love over and over again, hidden among sweet, whispering grasses and the cool night air.

The less I think and speak of Taeyong, the happier Yuta becomes. He stops being discreet about spending so much time around me, and it’s causing the chambermaids to gossip more than ever and even the young nobles training as stablehands have picked up on it. 

Luckily, Taeyong doesn’t seem to have picked up on anything. Rarely do I see him now and rarely does he invite me into his chambers, the dark circles underneath his eyes having become more prominent. But he does call me to him every now and then, and like a dutiful bride I lay under him and let him pound our marriage back into me. He’ll moan words such as, “_ Baby, don’t stop _ ” when I ride him and “I’m gonna knead your body _ so good _.” When he’s on the brink of orgasm, he thrusts into me at a relentless speed, chanting, “Mine...mine...” before flooding his semen inside me. 

“Lay your pretty hand in my hand and give it a kiss, my love,” is what he will say afterwards, and I comply wordlessly, calling him names inside my head, asking him why he was doing this to me, asking him why he would choose to be unfaithful over what we could have had. There are some times where I am so disgusted by him that I want to punch him in the face. But the fate of my family and our reputation holds me back, and I am disgusted with myself for still being attracted to him. 

Taeyong is passionate like Yuta, but it is with a different kind of passion that he drives himself relentlessly into me, almost like desperation, almost as if he feels guilty and wants to give me everything else in the world. However, I can’t deny that he makes me feel so good that I lose my mind, lose myself alongside him as his hips jackhammer into mine.

“_ Yuta, harder _.” 

One night I make the mistake of calling Taeyong by the wrong name, by my lover’s name. I see him freeze mid-thrust through the trickle of moonlight coming in from the window, the sweat being unable to cover the shocked, dumbfounded expression on his face. 

“What did you just say?” he whispers to me.

I look him in the eyes. “Harder, Judah.”

The look he gives me afterwards tells me he doesn’t believe me, but he keeps his hands digging into my hips as he relentlessly finishes the deed. 

He doesn’t reach for my hand this time after we finish, instead choosing to roll over and look away from me. After a few moments in the darkness, he breaks the silence.

“Who is Judah?”

“A character from the Bible I’ve been reading,” I reply. 

Taeyong stares at me. “This Judah...isn’t real?” 

“To some people, he is. Not to me. He’s just a fictional character.”

Taeyong nods and then takes my hand. “I have been absent from your side lately,” he apologizes, kissing the back and front of my palms, “Are you able to forgive me?”

Instead of my usual methodical nodding, I pull my hand away from his. “It would be very difficult for me.”

He reaches for my hand again, but again I pull away. Even though the chambers are rather dark, I can see still the hurt flash across his dark eyes.

“Sicheng. I am sorry for spending so much time without you during the creation of Unit 127. Although I am dedicated to my kingdom, I missed you very much.” Taeyong’s tug at the most fragile of my heartstrings. For a moment I imagine the look on Yuta’s face if I were to run into Taeyong’s arms at this second, and the amount of hurt that I can imagine chills me to the bone. So I stay put, quiet and obedient and observant. 

“I missed you too, Your Majesty,” is what I end up saying.

Taeyong lets out a noise. “Taeyong. You can call me Taeyong, remember? No need for formalities when it’s just the two of us.” 

“I haven’t seen you in forever. It would feel uncomfortable to call you anything besides Your Majesty,” I say icily, “Plus, you are my king first and foremost.” 

This time, the look of hurt undeniably flashes across his face. “Sicheng… I want to be your husband first and foremost.”

“If that’s what you want, Your Majesty.”

Taeyong heaves a sigh so gigantic that I can feel his chest vibrate up and down. “Sicheng,” he gently takes my hand in his, his giant doe-like here looking into mine, “I know that I have not been the best husband to you. I would like to change that, and be here for you from now on.” He kisses the backside of my hand. “You are my priority, first and foremost. It should have always been you.”

I bite my lip so hard in order to avoid sobbing as he peppers kisses alongside the length of my arm. I can feel his erection springing back to life again against my thigh, and I grind it against him. He lets out a series of soft, guttural moans as he presses his forehead to mine, dark onyx eyes boring deeply into mine, searching for something, anything of what we once were.

I indulge him with a long, languid kiss that has our tongues battling for dominance. I feel the deep rumbling of his chest, his moans as my fingers softly trace the rosy buds of his nipples and move towards the marveling frames of his shoulders.

And so begins my journey of alternatively lying with two different men in their own respective beds, though sometimes I allow Yuta in mine because the thrill and the feelings for him would override the guilt more than anything else. Taeyong was back to lovemaking again, slowly trying to win me over again and caressing me with every gentle touch of his rough hands. But Yuta, bless his heart, Yuta is all passion and frenzy and sweaty nights of coming undone and bliss in the form of exchanged bodily fluids. While Taeyong is passionate too, Yuta is the wild, churning sea that threatens to inevitably swallow me up if I would let him.

And let him I would. 

* * *

“Sicheng, run away with me.” Yuta tries to convince me for the umpteenth time. “It hurts to see you in his arms, to know that every night you’re not sleeping beside me you’re in bed with him.”

It pierces my heart to hear the sadness in Yuta’s voice, to see the disappointment in his face that I was still choosing the royal life over him. As tempting as it would be to make the guilt stop, to choose one of them, something warns me that I would regret it if I were to leave Taeyong behind. Some part of me enjoys having both of them, but it is the lies that constantly loom over my head, having me brood and bide my time. 

One day I agree to run away with Yuta upon the condition after I would tell Taeyong the truth. However, Yuta would have to wait until I was ready. Alas, as fate would have it, it is Taeyong who discovers us first. 

I have always been the good child, the model younger brother, the quiet scholar, and now I have become a royal adulterer who has betrayed his husband and fall for another. 

Taeyong has never been anything but kind to me in bed, and for Yuta it is the opposite. He constantly makes me beg for it, makes me submit to his every whim and demand, makes me feel as if I’m nothing but a piece of meat. Taeyong is all simple and soft love and kisses while Yuta grunts and ruts into me like an animal and whispers how much he’s in love with me afterwards. 

And how I unabashedly devour it all, the attention that was never shown to me, the love and affection that were finally mine to claim. 

Today Yuta and I have a small argument, and as a result, he is pounding me into the mattress. My moans echo off the walls of the room, feeling the stretch of Yuta’s girth inside me and the way I keep clenching around him, trying to milk him for all he’s worth. 

And while Yuta is still buried balls deep inside me, suddenly the doors burst open and standing there by the frame of the door is none other than Taeyong himself. 

It seems like an eternity before he speaks, and when he does, his voice is low and quivering with fury. “What. The. Fuck. What. The Fuck. 

“WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?!”

I yelp and scramble in an attempt to hide under the covers, but Yuta infuriatingly doesn’t let go of me. He simply turns and smiles at Taeyong with the most heinous, wicked smile I’ve ever seen him wear.

“Good evening, Your Majesty,” he says casually, only now slowing down his thrusts but still _ refusing to stop _ no matter how much I struggle. 

Taeyong looks as if he doesn’t know what he wants to do, bolt out of here or

is frozen, his eyebrows raised, jaw dropped open. 

Taeyong’s final straw snaps when Yuta lets out a groan and releases himself inside me. With an inhuman screech I’d never thought I’d hear from him, Taeyong thunders over and yanks me away from Yuta, making an obscene squelch as his penis comes out of me. 

I fall to the floor with an indignant _ thump _ and a yelp of pain. Panic seizes my chest when I feel Yuta’s cum, still warm and gooey, trickle down my thighs. 

Taeyong’s eyes are pure murder, and he doesn’t let go of my arm even though I am already on the floor. In fact, his grip tightens until I almost stop feeling my pulse. I try and scramble away from him. 

“_ What _ ,” he hisses at me through clenched teeth, “Is the meaning of _ this _?” If he’d looked at me with nothing but kindness and tenderness before, the expression he directs at me right now is more than I could ever fathom. Pain, disbelief, abandonment, disappointment clouts his features more than the slight shake of fury.

“I take you to my kingdom, I wed you, house you, love you, give you gifts, provided dowries and titles for your family, and_ this _is what you do behind my back?” Taeyong’s voice shakes slightly, but whether with anger or sadness I don’t know. Perhaps it is a mixture of both for all I know it is enough to break my heart many times over.

“How long has this been going on?” Taeyong gestures to Yuta and me. “How many times have you…”

“Practically ever since you started 127,” Yuta says.

Taeyong’s voice is steady but I can still see his flinch. “That long?” 

“I…you were cheating on me first,” I finally muster up my voice to say. My stomach feels like lead, and I have never been this out of breath before. 

Taeyong’s jaw drops. Out of everything he expects me to say, this is probably the one he least expected. 

Yuta gets up, complete naked body and softened penis in display to toss a blanket around my shoulders. I look up at him, grateful and then turn away my flushed face when the penis that had just been inside me flops near my face. 

Taeyong’s jaw tightens, and I can tell that it takes everything for him to force himself to remain calm. “I have never cheated on you, Sicheng, nor would I ever dream of it. _ I _ am not the adulterous one.” 

Yuta wraps his arms around to slowly bring me up from the floor. Taeyong takes a step closer towards us. I instinctively try and take a step back, but Yuta holds his ground.

“What about all those nights you were with Unit 127? I wouldn’t see my own husband for weeks..” My voice is dry, but finally it is coming at full volume along with my fury. “I know about your concubines. I know everything!”

Taeyong’s mouth opens and closes in disbelief. “What concubines? When? I’ve never had concubines, Sicheng.”

“Keep your lies to yourself! Yuta told me!” I snap back. 

“I swear on the crown that I have been faithful to you!”

“But your concubines! Every king has them!”

“Who told you that?” 

“Yuta.” 

“Yuta?!” Taeyong spits, turning to said man beside me. “How dare you, Nakamoto. After everything I have done for you?” 

Yuta tilts his head to the side. “Actually you haven’t done all that much for me, Your Majesty. And am I so misinformed to assume that you have concubines, like all other royalty?”

“First of all,” Taeyong grits his teeth, “I have been faithful to Sicheng this entire time.” He looks at me. “Sicheng, step away from him. He has been playing both you and I for a fool this entire time. I have half a mind to throw him in the dungeon!”

“You can’t!” I blurt out way too loud, way too fast.

Taeyong’s face is poisonous to look at. “And why is that?”

I swallow. “Because I’m in love with Yuta, Your Majesty.”

If nothing had broken him before, this would, and did it indeed. I have never seen Taeyong look so hurt, so defeated, so unsure of himself. 

However, Yuta practically beams with joy next to me. He stands proud and tall, holding me a little tighter, pulling me away from Taeyong little by little. “I love you as well, Sicheng.” 

Taeyong lets out a bitter laugh. 

“You called his name that night we were in bed together,” he muses, “I knew you had said Yuta’s name at the time. I just chose not to believe it.” He closes his eyes. “I was lying to myself. The worst case scenario that played out in my head was not to be real. But lo and behold, here we are.”

“How did you know about us?” I all but whisper.

“You called Nakamoto’s name in bed. And I heard the Dreamies talking about it when I was at the stables the other day.” 

“I never said I stopped loving you,” I say, stepping closer to Taeyong in an act of comfort, “I do love you, Your Majesty. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I am in love with both of you. I know that it is wrong.”

Taeyong’s arm reaches out to graze my cheeks, and I turn away at his touch. He withdraws, hurt. 

“That complicated things,” Yuta says, eyeing us carefully , “I had Sicheng agree to run away with me.”

Taeyong’s gaze snaps to me. “Run away-?”

I nod my head, too ashamed to speak.

“But it looks like you had to come and get in the middle of our little rendezvous. It’s really a shame, Taeyong. In another life, maybe we could’ve been friends.”

“In another life, maybe you wouldn’t have fucked my husband,” Taeyong spits back. “And you Sicheng… in another life, I might have been a better husband to you. But maybe in another life, you would have been faithful to me.”

Taeyong’s words shatter me. Even if I reach out to him now, he wouldn’t want to touch me. He wouldn’t want me anywhere near him. 

“Why?” he continues. “ I would like to know why.” 

“Why not?” Yuta snaps back. “Look at him. He’s beautiful, gorgeous. Besides, I wanted to see you suffer. I wanted to hurt you.”

The magnitude of Yuta’s words, spat out like poison and wrapping around to bite into Taeyong with venom, stings into me. I’d never imagine I would see the great king Lee Taeyong being so hurt and vulnerable...all because of me. Then again, I couldn’t have imagined Yuta as being malicious from the start. I take a long, deep gaze into his eyes. “You’re not just a royal advisor, are you…? Yuta.” 

Yuta shakes his head of beautiful brown hair. “No, I am afraid not. Dong Sicheng, my name is Yuta Nakamoto, and I am the heir to the throne, First Born Son of my father’s kingdom, the Kingdom of Rien.” 

If I could see my own expression, it probably would have been priceless to me. My jaw hangs open as my ears attempt to take in what they’d just heard. 

“Y-you’re the son of the tyrant king?” I manage to croak out. 

Yuta’s eyes flash in anger. “My father may have made some mistakes, but he was only human. Did he deserve to be crucified by the rebels and left to hang to his death on a tree, with a noose around his neck and feet and hands bound till they were blue? Did he deserve to have his head cut off only to be spiked onto a pillar like some sick hunting trophy by those traitors that we now bow down to?”

Yuta’s voice is rising, and I can feel the heat behind his words, the heat of his anger, the onslaught storm of his fury. There was a hunger in those eyes, a hunger that I’d seen before but never really questioned what it to be until now.

“I...I thought that you were—”

“Dead?” Yuta tosses back his head and laughs unlike himself, high-pitched and riddled with coldness. “Afraid to disappoint the kingdom, but not even close. I knew about the rumors going around that I was dead or had disappeared out of shame, but really I’ve just been into a different kingdom for a number of years. My father had promised me as his heir, and he’d sent me away to a number of different kingdoms as a young boy so I would be properly trained in the skills of fencing, martial arts, knighthood, blacksmithing...really, the list goes on.

“I trained and trained. I worked until I was nearly dead, all bones and very little meat on my body as I forced myself to take one step in front of the other. Were there many times that I’d thought of giving up? You bet your damn ass I did, but the promise of the crown awaited me, and I was not going to let this opportunity slip away from me when I was so close to fulfilling my destiny. 

“Then, after ten hard years of not seeing my family or knowing my kingdom, I come back a scholar, a blacksmith, a knight, a warrior, and what do I find? My home, in ruins. Strangers living there. My family, slaughtered and killed, my father’s head decapitated and his dead purple heart_ staked on display for all the kingdom to see _.”

My heart shatters at the brokeness coming from Yuta’s voice, for he’d seem so many years wiser and experienced than me and here he was sounding like a simple boy who’d come home only to realize he’d lost everything.

“I ran. I just disappeared into the forest for a few days, and no one came looking for me because everyone thought I’d died when I was a boy. I ran back to the other kingdoms I’d trained in, I’d written letter upon letter to the knights and sables and blacksmiths with whom I’ve been apprenticed for so many years. I knew I could trust all of them, I knew that they would stand behind me.

“And stand behind me they did. No one offered to exchange my head for a kettle of gold, no one offered my blood on a platter to the demons that ran this new kingdom. _ Neo Culture Kingdom _.” he spits with so much venom that I am afraid that I too have been poisoned with wickedness. And then memory springs back into my mind of all the things I’d done with Yuta in the beds, in the bathtubs, on the floors, on the furry animal skin rugs and I feel as if I’ve already accepted wickedness into my life, as if it’s already become a part of me.

“I was delirious with agony. I was blind with rage. I raged and raged on in the forest for days. What was I to do? Where was I go to? I had nothing left, absolutely nothing, zero, none. And then one of the blacksmiths came to me and said to me that if I ever wanted my kingdom back, he and the others would help me, but I would have to be the one to lead them, for I was the true crown prince. 

“I couldn’t sleep for several days. My mind was haunted with images of my family dying, and they didn’t have quick, painless deaths either. Each picture was more clear and agonizing than the next, and it got me to a point where I thought I’d really gone insane. And if I’d really gone insane and had absolutely nothing else to lose, then I was going get revenge.”

My gut twists, not liking where this approach was taking. 

“I’m not talking about the kind of revenge like a merciful death revenge. I’m talking about villages burning, the town burning, the kingdom becoming black with ash. In grievance for my family and in punishment for what their own people did to them.”

It becomes more difficult by the second for me to breathe, for my chest is filled with something much more twisted, much more uglier than apprehension. Hearing Yuta having been through this much pain...watching him put Taeyong and others through this pain… 

“I devised a scheme. I didn’t think long and hard about it because I was maddened with rage, but the pieces begin falling into place by themselves. I’d scheduled myself an audience with _ King _Taeyong, and I’d present myself to become a personal servant to the biggest traitor of my kingdom. That way I could grow close to him, learn what he loves, learn what he hates, and use that against him.”

Taeyong grits his teeth. “You _ bastard _…”

“It’s rude to interrupt your prince, Yongie.” Yuta smirks at him. “As I was saying, I burned with a desire, a passion to take my revenge. I didn’t care how long it would take or what it would take in order for me to do it. I was going to burn the entire kingdom to the ground for betraying my family, killing my father the real king, and then establishing a fraudulent democratic king in his place. Since no one knew what I look like as an adult, it was easy for me to pass off as a homeless stranger in need of a home and work. And since your new king is so kind, so caring, so _ unlike _ my father, he offered me to be his personal Royal Advisor. He was impressed by my knowledge in economics and politics, you know. And then you, my dear, came along, it was a political marriage at first but you’d fallen so hard for your first and dear husband because he was a king and would be able to take care of your family, right?”

I feel my face heat up with anger. “Something like that. What I did is nothing compared to what_ you’ve _ done. I don’t even know where to begin. I can’t believe that this is real and happening right here right now. _ I can’t believe that I did those things with you _.” 

Taeyong lets out an angry wail as he pulls me to his side, effectively wrapping his arms around me as if he could protect me from Yuta. I take in his familiar scent and tears come to my eyes, at the anguish on Taeyong’s face, at the look of pain on Yuta’s. 

“Sicheng, I am so sorry that I am only telling you now. I wish I could have told you sooner, come clean to you sooner. But alas, it would have been too dangerous for the both of us. The only flaw in my plan was unexpectedly falling in love with you.”

“You used me!” I scream. 

“You don’t love him, Nakamoto!” Taeyong screams. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Taeyong,” Yuta says quietly, “I may have done a lot of shitty things in my life, but I was genuine with Sicheng. You left him to his own devices when he needed you the most. It isn’t my fault that you don’t deserve someone like him.”

“You don’t know me at all, Nakamoto,” Taeyong snaps.

“Neither do you me,” Yuta retorts back, “I guess we’re at an impasse. You want my head, and I want yours.”

“So you’ve planned all of this out,” Taeyong’s voice is flat now, “Did you do these things to Sicheng to try to get to me?”

“At first, I was seducing him because I knew you would be hurt,” Yuta admits, and I want to strangle him, “But I had practically fallen in love with Sicheng even then. Over time, my mission became less and less about my revenge. I even asked Sicheng to run away with me because I’d considered giving up my revenge and starting a new life together.”

“Why do you think I will believe anything you say now?” I stare at Yuta. “I never knew you in the first place.”

“Sicheng, I know the way we met wasn’t ideal. I know I don’t deserve for you to believe me. But I am telling you the truth, and may the gods strike me down if I ever lie about love.”

“You’ve been through a lot of rough things,” I say hesitantly, “Maybe what you needed all along was help…”

“I have help,” Yuta snaps, “I don’t need a lot from other people. You know those places we visited at the village, the one with the foreign merchants? I had a network of spies and travelers who would pass information along to me. I’ve got some in Unit 127 as well,” he adds, smirking at Taeyong, who grits his teeth and clenches his hands into fists. 

“So that’s why you kept on convincing me to put everything I had into it...you were searching, spying on me, looking for information all along...and while I was busy trying to create peace between the kingdoms, you bedded Sicheng…”

“I am in love with you Sicheng,” Yuta says, inching closer to me, “I know that I have done wrong to you, and for that I truly am very sorry. But I was in so much shock after bearing witness to my pain… I needed something wholesome and beautiful in my life again to remind me that it is not all about hatred, and then you showed up one day and I fell in love.”

“I was married to Taeyong,” I croak. “It wasn’t right.”

“No, it wasn’t, but I was a desperate man,” Yuta says, “I lost everything I had, Sicheng. I don’t want to lose you as well.”

I open my mouth to say that he wouldn’t lose me, but the words don’t want to come out. I didn’t want to hurt Taeyong anymore than I did, didn’t want to be caught in the middle anymore that I was. But how longingly I stare at Yuta, for my heart was pounding harder than it’d ever been when he smiles one of his classic Yuta smiles at me, and how longingly I want to reach out for his hand and have his warmth embrace me. I subconsciously stretch my hand towards him until a sudden, sharp clearing of Taeyong’s throat snaps me out of my reverie. 

“I’ll make you a deal, Nakamoto,” Taeyong says very slowly, his jaw still tight, “You get out of my kingdom and out of Sicheng’s life for good, and I will let you walk away as if nothing ever happened. I know it won’t be easy for either of us to pretend but at least this way you will have time to heal from your loss一”

Yuta’s laughter chills me to the bone. “I think it’s a little too late to pretend that none of this ever happened, Taeyong. Tell you what, _ I’ll _ make you a deal. You either let me run away with Sicheng right here right now, or I will take out my blade and pierce you in the heart then take over the kingdom anyways.”

“Stop it!” I panic. “You are not killing each other! I refuse to allow either of you to一”

Taeyong narrows his eyes. “You really think that you’re in a position of negotiation, Nakamoto? I can easily have you thrown in the dungeons.”

“And I can pierce your heart just as easily.” Yuta withdraws a small, jagged dagger from within the crevices of his boots. “If you think yourself a man, you’ll fight me one on one.” 

“Bring it on.” Taeyong pulls out the sword he keeps in the hilt of his belt. “Winner takes all.”

Yuta grins. “Great, I’ve always wanted to duel with you.”

“I will not show you mercy, Yuta Nakamoto.”

“You never needed to, Lee Taeyong.” 

“Don’t do this,” I try to plead with them, “Don’t resort to this! We’ll leave. _ I’ll leave _. I’ll leave and go somewhere far, far away where I can never bring you guys pain ever again!”

Taeyong’s face falls. “This isn’t about you, love. I fought for something I believed in and I married someone who I thought I could love. I fucked up, you fucked up, but I cannot bring myself to love you any less. After all of this is over, you and I… we have a chance to rekindle what we once had between us. Just give me some time to fight for you, to fight for our kingdom.”

“This is my kingdom that you’re standing in,” Yuta says rather quietly, “And contrary to what he said, it is _ all _ about you, Sicheng. We’re both crazy, we’re both power-hungry, and we’re both genuinely in love with you. I never lied to you when I observed that Taeyong still loves you. But the truth of it is that he stands in a place that rightfully belongs to me, including being married to a man I love. This is about the both of us now. Once I get rid of him, I will have my throne back and you will happily rule by my side.”

I grit my teeth looking between the both of them. “I’m asking you not to hurt each other. I know this is selfish of me, but it’s impossible to choose between the two of you. I never stopped loving you, Taeyong. But if I was truly one hundred percent committed to Taeyong, then I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you as well, Yuta. I don’t know what else to do, but I can’t stand the sight of you about to tear one another to pieces.”

“He tore my kingdom into pieces,” Yuta turns to me, and I am shocked to see tears slowly running down his cheeks, “He and NCT took everything away from me. I will not let him take you from me.”

“I stepped into a role for the greater good of my people,” Taeyong says, “I love you, Sicheng. It’s time I show you how much I do. Right here, right now.”

“You know,” I whisper, “I am proud to call you my husband.”

And Taeyong smiles, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Yuta’s angry scream pierces the air, all jealousy and revenge and everything that had threatened to take me away from my husband. His dagger is drawn, poised to kill.

Like everybody in his family.

Like the way he was forced to watch his own kingdom burn.

Like the way he has risked what little he has left to save everything that he’s ever known. 

And then Yuta lunges at Taeyong and Taeyong moves to dodge him, hands ready drawn his own sword out but he’s not fast enough and I’m already moving and I don’t know who is screaming louder, Yuta, Taeyong, or me as Yuta’s blade is lodged deep into my stomach and a surge of white-hot pain courses through my body and pierces into me with the most tantalizing agony I’ve ever felt.

Then everything fades to black, until I cannot hear Yuta and Taeyong screaming my name anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 things I love: Plot twists and cliffhangers XD I'm making this 3 chapters instead of 2 so don't worry! You'll find out what happens to Sicheng. Please leave me a review and let me know how I did and what you think :D I love hearing from you guys and it motivates me to write more! <3


	3. I Can't Wait to Love You All Alone Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng finds out that everything is not as it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five points if you've been noticing that all the chapter titles are modeled after NCT lyrics!

_ “Am I not good enough for you, Sicheng? I was once a―” _

_ ...Yuta holding me and caressing me  _

_ and telling me how much I mean to him,  _

_ how he would give the world to me,  _

_ how he has plans to rule this kingdom himself...  _

_ “Hush. We must not question our king,” yet another one adds, “He saved us from the tyranny that ruled before us.” _

_ Yuta’s hand, which is still holding onto mine,  _

_ balls into tight fists.  _

_ I can feel the anger radiating off him as he marches us  _

_ through the crowd, uncharacteristically pushing his way past people _

_ until he and I reach our carriage. _

  
  


_ “I can understand you in some ways,” Yuta whispers softly, his hand still stroking my back,  _

_ “I went to a foreign kingdom to study sportsmanship and horseback  _

_ riding a few years back. I returned after the uprising.  _

_ All my family had died in the war.”  _

_ “I understand how you feel,” Yuta says sadly, _

_ caressing one soft pale hand through the strands of my hair.  _

_ “I miss my family too sometimes.” _

_ “Hush, Sicheng. You are all I have now, and I love you.  _

_ I love you more than the stars love the universe itself, my darling.” _

_ All along, Yuta had been the lost prince of the fallen kingdom.  _

_ Yuta had been seeking revenge all along. _

_ Yuta fell in love with me along the way... _

_ Yuta accidentally stabbed me through the stomach in a fit of rage when I shielded Taeyong from his sword. _

* * *

Death is so very bright, I think to myself as I wake up to a plethora of neon white lights that nearly blind me into darkness all over again.

The sound of a beeping machine rings relentlessly into my ears, dulling my senses as I struggle to come to my senses. 

“He’s awake!” An all-too familiar voice sounds to my right, and two faces blur into my vision. 

The handsome face of Taeyong and the equally-as-handsome face of Yuta, standing next to each other. 

I try and blink away the lights, the intensity that washes over me. Yuta helps me to sit up and Taeyong brings me a tray of simple food: plain bread, some pickled radishes, and a snow-white bowl of congee. 

“Where am I?” I croak, my voice dry and rough as sandpaper. Taeyong frowns and pushes a glass of water towards me.

I drink the crystal, cool liquid and feel it sparkling down my throat, reviving the life force within me again. 

“You’re awake. We were so worried,” Yuta says as he clasps my hands, “You got a pretty bad concussion a few days ago, Sichengie.”

“Concussion?” I question, not even bothering correcting him.

“Yes! You overexerted yourself too hard during dance practice, you weren’t getting enough sleep, and you hit your head a little too hard. You’ve slept for three days straight.” Taeyong says as he pushes the food towards me. 

“But you… the castle...your kingdom…Yuta’s revenge…” I gasp out, trying not to choke over my own words.

Taeyong and Yuta glance at each other, then at me with their eyebrows raised. 

“Castle?”

“Kingdom?”

“My revenge?” 

As ashamed as I am, I decide to go ahead and tell them my entire story. When I finish, both of their faces hold either a blank or a shocked or a blank shock expression. 

“So it was all just a bad dream...?” I murmur in the end.

To my delight, Taeyong takes both Yuta and my hand into his own, maintaining a gentle smile at me all the while. “You and Yuta and I have all agreed to become a throuple. We have been together for a very long time without issue.” He darts a glance at Yuta. “Somebody’s been watching way too much Game of Thrones with our Winwin.”

“It’s a good show!” Yuta insists. “Sure we all wish it had a different ending, but they’ve got an amazing storyline.”

“You watch it for the porn.” 

“It gives me a lot of good inspiration for the three of us!” Yuta whines, and I couldn’t help but suppress a giggle. They both turn to me and I give them both my brightest smile. 

“So...this is all real…?”

“Everything’s real.” Taeyong squeezes my hand in reassurance. “I love the two of you.”

I let out a breath that I hadn’t known I was holding, squeezing Yuta’s hand as well. “I love you both as well.” 

“Awww Sichengie, you hardly ever say that!” Yuta cries, throwing his arms around me. “It took a concussion for you to say that!”

Taeyong’s smile grows, and he ruffles my blond hair. “Eat your food before you pass out on us again, Winwin.” 

I eat like a starving man. The food has never tasted so good. Seeing both of them standing side by side like this, hands entwined, smiling down upon me, both of them loving me, I must have died and gone to heaven. Or I been reincarnated into a different reality, a reality that had turned out better than any dream could be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if it didn't end the way you were hoping for it to or if it seemed like the ending was abrupt. I didn't have a lot of time to edit and I've never had a beta before. I actually had planned to end it happily all along with Sicheng ending up with both of them. I'll update my other NCT story soon. In the meantime, please check out my MDZS works! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I need to stop writing stories with Taeyong/Yuta/Winwin love triangles and just focus on one ship at a time lmao. The Kitsune Yuwin story shall be updated soon!! 
> 
> Here's a sneak preview for the upcoming and last chapter of this two-shot:  
********************************************************************************************
> 
> And while Yuta is still buried balls deep inside me, suddenly the doors burst open and standing there by the frame of the door is none other than Taeyong..
> 
> It seems like an eternity before he speaks, and when he does, his voice is low and quivering with fury. “What. The. Fuck. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?!”


End file.
